[He isn't looking at Jaeger, that much is obvious even in the darkness of the room.]
They tend to involve memories that I'm still working through, for one reason or another. I remembered a few things lately that...bothered me, I suppose.
[He's currently just...intently focusing on the blank space a few inches in front of his face; it's easier that way.]
...There's a video of the Ashfords playing on some sort of console in front of me. They're twins, Alfred and Alexia... They're in their late twenties by the time the memory happens, I believe. Alfred is on the floor and his chest is covered in blood, and from the way he's lying he's probably dead; Alexia is naked and sitting with him, cradling his body and singing to it.
I watch for a while, and then Chris comes in. He pulls his gun on me; we fight, briefly. I mention working for someone else, someone that isn't Umbrella; I tell him I'm there to capture Alexia. He attacks me, and I hit him so hard it sends him across the room.
And then I pick him up, one-handed. By the throat. And I hold him there and let gravity do the rest. I talk to him a bit about how much I hate him, but mostly I'm just watching him die. I nearly choke him to death; because this seems to have been a long time ago, I know I must have let him go, but I don't...remember actually doing that. It always ends on him nearly blacking out, and I'm just watching as he dies.
[Jaeger listens without interrupting. The first part is kind of... uhh. Something. But it's the second part that's clearly troubling Wesker, and for good reason.
He moves to sit up properly so he can bring his free hand up to the side of Wesker's face. He'll pull away if Wesker doesn't want it, and he's not trying to get Wesker to look at him.]
I'm sorry, Albert. It sounds horrible, to remember something like that. It sounds horrible to relive it over and over in your dreams as well. Even knowing that it didn't actually kill Chris... that doesn't make it any easier, does it?
[...I mean, he wasn't here for the Dead Brother Incest Creepshow either, to be honest, but it's the latter part that's disturbing him, yes; he shakes his head a bit, and when he speaks again there's something of a hollow laugh behind his words, the sort of thing that happens out of a lack of knowing what else to do.]
I spent a lot of time back then being particularly hard on poor Chris, I think - I fought him again a very short time later. Days, perhaps, if it was that long; that fight where I lost one of my eyes. I nearly killed him then, too; I'm fairly sure I at least broke his ribs and gave him a concussion.
I recently remembered what happened before that fight as well - the one where I severely injured him and lost my eye. I was...right, in what I told you I thought I wanted to do to his sister, Claire; I captured her at one point, and threatened to torture her in front of Chris. I haven't had any dreams involving that, at least, though that admittedly surprises me; perhaps it's because I didn't go through with it, in the end.
I certainly tortured her brother enough for both of them, at any rate.
I'm sorry, Albert. I wish you didn't have to remember something like that, I wish things would have been better for you in your past life.
[There's nothing that can be done about his past life, the only thing he can really do is try to be here for Wesker now. It's frustrating that he can't do anything more.]
I'm not certain if we should be wishing they were better for me as much as anyone who came in contact with me.
[Just...saying.
He shakes his head eventually, though.]
I am trying to keep in mind what you told me - that perhaps if I had had a better life from the beginning, if Spencer's experiments hadn't happened, then perhaps I wouldn't have been like that. That it doesn't excuse anything, but it does explain it. But it doesn't seem right to try to sympathize with someone who openly tortured people like that.
...I think it was something like eleven years, from the time of the incident in the mansion to the time I died. I doubt he had much peace of mind inbetween. There were brief periods of time where he thought I was dead, and I'm sure that gave him some respite, at least.
...That was one of the reasons he was my favorite, I think. When we were both on the force.
[He doesn't sound much calmer, but he does seem...sort of fond, tone-wise; it isn't a bad shift in topic.]
I always felt that he was naive back then - that he and Jill both were. But Chris was a very strong person. Very resilient, very capable. A little prone to thinking in absolutes, and more than a bit bullheaded about things - even back before everything happened, our personalities clashed a little, but it was never anything heated. Just differences in ideologies, and an unwillingness to compromise on those ideologies.
...He was a bit like me, I think, and I liked that. I could understand him a little, even if I couldn't relate to him.
It's good to find people like that, I think. People who are similar enough to you but cause you to challenge yourself and your worldview... I think those sorts of relationships are very important. Clashing a little isn't a bad thing.
Do you remember much about him from your time on the force?
Not much, unfortunately. I remember coming across him during the incident in the mansion; I split away from the others to...do something, I don't remember what, presumably all of that business with Barry; he found me at one point and seemed absolutely worried sick, though he was trying very hard not to show it. He was very grateful to find me alive... We investigated together, briefly, but after a while I sent him away to handle something else.
It wasn't anything I cared about, but it was strange for me, regardless.
I wasn't very used to people worrying about me. No one in Umbrella would have cared enough, and no one outside of it had any reason to before that point.
I understand. Given everything you've told me, I'm not surprised to hear that it was strange for you. Did it bother you at the time or was it just strange?
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[He squeezes Wesker's hand after a moment.]
They're just dreams, yes. You're safe here, everything will be okay even if it isn't right now.
But that doesn't mean you can't be bothered by them. Nightmares are awful, ja? It's okay to get worked up over them.
Thank you for waking me up. As I've said countless times before, I want to be here for you.
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They tend to involve memories that I'm still working through, for one reason or another. I remembered a few things lately that...bothered me, I suppose.
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What sort of things? What was the one you dreamed about?
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...There's a video of the Ashfords playing on some sort of console in front of me. They're twins, Alfred and Alexia... They're in their late twenties by the time the memory happens, I believe. Alfred is on the floor and his chest is covered in blood, and from the way he's lying he's probably dead; Alexia is naked and sitting with him, cradling his body and singing to it.
I watch for a while, and then Chris comes in. He pulls his gun on me; we fight, briefly. I mention working for someone else, someone that isn't Umbrella; I tell him I'm there to capture Alexia. He attacks me, and I hit him so hard it sends him across the room.
And then I pick him up, one-handed. By the throat. And I hold him there and let gravity do the rest. I talk to him a bit about how much I hate him, but mostly I'm just watching him die. I nearly choke him to death; because this seems to have been a long time ago, I know I must have let him go, but I don't...remember actually doing that. It always ends on him nearly blacking out, and I'm just watching as he dies.
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He moves to sit up properly so he can bring his free hand up to the side of Wesker's face. He'll pull away if Wesker doesn't want it, and he's not trying to get Wesker to look at him.]
I'm sorry, Albert. It sounds horrible, to remember something like that. It sounds horrible to relive it over and over in your dreams as well. Even knowing that it didn't actually kill Chris... that doesn't make it any easier, does it?
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I spent a lot of time back then being particularly hard on poor Chris, I think - I fought him again a very short time later. Days, perhaps, if it was that long; that fight where I lost one of my eyes. I nearly killed him then, too; I'm fairly sure I at least broke his ribs and gave him a concussion.
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[Then again, he usually doesn't get angry or hate people, so maybe he's the weird one here.]
How often do you have that dream?
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I recently remembered what happened before that fight as well - the one where I severely injured him and lost my eye. I was...right, in what I told you I thought I wanted to do to his sister, Claire; I captured her at one point, and threatened to torture her in front of Chris. I haven't had any dreams involving that, at least, though that admittedly surprises me; perhaps it's because I didn't go through with it, in the end.
I certainly tortured her brother enough for both of them, at any rate.
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I'm sorry, Albert. I wish you didn't have to remember something like that, I wish things would have been better for you in your past life.
[There's nothing that can be done about his past life, the only thing he can really do is try to be here for Wesker now. It's frustrating that he can't do anything more.]
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[Just...saying.
He shakes his head eventually, though.]
I am trying to keep in mind what you told me - that perhaps if I had had a better life from the beginning, if Spencer's experiments hadn't happened, then perhaps I wouldn't have been like that. That it doesn't excuse anything, but it does explain it. But it doesn't seem right to try to sympathize with someone who openly tortured people like that.
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That's fair, and were it anyone else I doubt I'd try to sympathize with them at all.
But it is your past life, and I'm always going to have a difficult time looking at it without that bias.
...You're certainly right, though; I do wish Chris' life had been easier. It certainly sounds like he had a very difficult time...
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[That definitely seems excessive...]
I hope things were better for him eventually.
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[It's...hesitant, like he's not sure he even has the right to say it, but it's entirely genuine.]
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He certainly sounds like a very resilient person. It seems like he always found a way to pick up and keep going, no matter what happened to him.
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[He doesn't sound much calmer, but he does seem...sort of fond, tone-wise; it isn't a bad shift in topic.]
I always felt that he was naive back then - that he and Jill both were. But Chris was a very strong person. Very resilient, very capable. A little prone to thinking in absolutes, and more than a bit bullheaded about things - even back before everything happened, our personalities clashed a little, but it was never anything heated. Just differences in ideologies, and an unwillingness to compromise on those ideologies.
...He was a bit like me, I think, and I liked that. I could understand him a little, even if I couldn't relate to him.
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Do you remember much about him from your time on the force?
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It wasn't anything I cared about, but it was strange for me, regardless.
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[That's sort of cute... And then you just had to be aggressively yourself and make everything awful, good job, Wesker...]
What was so strange about it?
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[Hm.]
It was more as though I had to take a moment to remind myself that people do that sometimes.
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[He's quiet for a moment.]
Do you feel a little calmer now?
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I know this is difficult, and I'm sure you would have preferred not to wake me... but I'm very glad you did.
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