For a moment he doesn't seem altogether sure what to do with that; it takes him a second to get himself sorted, but eventually he'll lean into the embrace a bit more, settling against Jaeger in a manner that's...admittedly a little awkward but he's trying.]
I know you will be. You always find a way. But it's okay to hurt for a little while, and it's okay to lean on people when you need help.
...I really am very happy you came to me with this. I know that sounds a little strange to say given everything... but being here for you is very important to me. I always want to be able to help you in any way I can, after all.
I'm glad. You've told me that before, but it's taken a little while for it to sink in... It's not that I didn't believe you before! I just... I always feel like I should be doing something.
But I do understand how important it is to be here for you, and I promise I will be. For as long as I can.
[He tips his head a bit at that; feeling the need to do something...]
I think i understand, when you put it that way. But I don't always need you to comfort me somehow, I just need you to be there. That's always been more important to me.
You don't have to worry about that. Being here for you has always been important to me, it's only recently that I've finally started to understand just how much that means to you too.
It's okay, trusting people can be very difficult, ja? I'm not upset or angry about it. I understand; you're still the only person I can trust fully like this. I'm... working on it, but it's nowhere near as easy with anyone else.
It's never been easy for me. My past life never trusted anyone fully, but likewise seemed to enjoy simply spending time with people I liked - a lot of the memories that I seemed to consider positive back then were very simple things like that.
As for nowadays...well, I have you. I don't trust anyone else like this, but then I've never really had much reason to.
It's not easy, but that's why it's so important to me that you can trust me. I'm really happy, Albert.
[He has a hard enough time of it, but after everything Wesker went through in both this life and his previous one... well, it's impressive that he can trust anyone.]
[He shifts a bit where he's leaning against Jaeger; eventually he'll nuzzle up to him a little. It's another of those gestures that's probably always going to be awkward, but there's an attempt at least.]
[It gets a soft sound out of him and he's quick to return it. His grip tightens on Wesker a bit and even though his boyfriend isn't exactly comfortable, this is really nice...]
[Ah... Jaeger's grip tightening against his body feels really nice, actually, and it gets him to relax against him almost immediately; he can't even begin to explain why but a lot of the tension is just gone, and he nuzzles him again, and it takes him a little while to say anything but eventually he will.]
You've always been good at making me feel loved, you know.
[It is... But that's probably not surprising, considering how much Jaeger adores physical affection...]
I love you too, I love you so much... I'm really happy like this. I know things can be really hard on you, but you're doing an amazing job handling everything. I'm really happy you seem to be feeling better, nightmares aside.
I think you're right. It's... very difficult to process all of this and know what to do with it. But I really do want you to be happy, so it's... really nice to see that you're trying a different approach.
[He's quiet for a moment, just settling against Jaeger and trying to make himself relax again; he can feel some of the tension creeping back in, and he doesn't want that.]
...I think it was easier for me to just accept responsibility without question - to believe that all of those things had happened because I was an evil person, and there was nothing I could do to change that, and as a result I deserved to be in a state of constant suffering. If I wasn't, then I deserved to feel guilt about that as well - if I caused so many people pain, then what right did I have to be happy?
It was difficult, but it was safer than trying to process everything and truly face what I've done. It was easier than trying to comprehend what happened.
But you've been helping me to work through what I was thinking and feeling back then. To understand why things turned out the way they did, and to process everything that happened. It's been a great help to me, and I appreciate that you ask me questions about that sort of thing when I discuss my memories with you. ...Thank you.
[Jaeger listens to all of that without interrupting, though he does eventually move a hand up so he can gently play with the back of Wesker's hair. He knows this is a lot to work through, and the hair-playing usually helps him calm down, so who knows, it might help.]
I can understand that, I think. Processing all of this really must be very difficult. Looking at it from a more superficial perspective... I understand.
[It's what he's been doing with his memories, after all.]
It's important to me to learn more about your past life. I'm very happy I've been able to help. I'll admit that sometimes I'm at a loss for what to do or say, but I'll always be here for you.
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For a moment he doesn't seem altogether sure what to do with that; it takes him a second to get himself sorted, but eventually he'll lean into the embrace a bit more, settling against Jaeger in a manner that's...admittedly a little awkward but he's trying.]
I'll be all right. It's over now, at any rate.
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...I really am very happy you came to me with this. I know that sounds a little strange to say given everything... but being here for you is very important to me. I always want to be able to help you in any way I can, after all.
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But I do understand how important it is to be here for you, and I promise I will be. For as long as I can.
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I think i understand, when you put it that way. But I don't always need you to comfort me somehow, I just need you to be there. That's always been more important to me.
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...I told you that for a long time I couldn't speak.
[So talking things out wasn't really an option, nor was asking people to do things for him if he needed them.
Being there for him, though, was something that people could do for him if he needed it. Just letting him stay near them without saying anything.]
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[He understands that better now. Spending time with someone you care about and can trust like that... he definitely gets it.]
It's important to me that you can trust and rely on me like that. Being able to support you like this... it really does mean so much to me.
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I know it's taken me a long time to trust you like this.
[It's not an apology, but it is acknowledgement.]
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As for nowadays...well, I have you. I don't trust anyone else like this, but then I've never really had much reason to.
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[He has a hard enough time of it, but after everything Wesker went through in both this life and his previous one... well, it's impressive that he can trust anyone.]
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[He shifts a bit where he's leaning against Jaeger; eventually he'll nuzzle up to him a little. It's another of those gestures that's probably always going to be awkward, but there's an attempt at least.]
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I love you so much.
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You've always been good at making me feel loved, you know.
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It's always been so important to me to make sure you know, especially when I couldn't manage the words. I never want you to have to question that.
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[This is comfortable - at least as much as it can be, considering.]
I love you.
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I love you too, I love you so much... I'm really happy like this. I know things can be really hard on you, but you're doing an amazing job handling everything. I'm really happy you seem to be feeling better, nightmares aside.
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Is it really that obvious...?
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Ja, of course! You're calmer lately, it's been a relief, honestly...
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I've been feeling less upset over everything. Not because I want to try to forget or dismiss everything that happened, but...
[Mm.]
It's been evident to me that I can't keep living like that.
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...I think it was easier for me to just accept responsibility without question - to believe that all of those things had happened because I was an evil person, and there was nothing I could do to change that, and as a result I deserved to be in a state of constant suffering. If I wasn't, then I deserved to feel guilt about that as well - if I caused so many people pain, then what right did I have to be happy?
It was difficult, but it was safer than trying to process everything and truly face what I've done. It was easier than trying to comprehend what happened.
But you've been helping me to work through what I was thinking and feeling back then. To understand why things turned out the way they did, and to process everything that happened. It's been a great help to me, and I appreciate that you ask me questions about that sort of thing when I discuss my memories with you. ...Thank you.
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I can understand that, I think. Processing all of this really must be very difficult. Looking at it from a more superficial perspective... I understand.
[It's what he's been doing with his memories, after all.]
It's important to me to learn more about your past life. I'm very happy I've been able to help. I'll admit that sometimes I'm at a loss for what to do or say, but I'll always be here for you.
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Might I ask why it's so important to you?
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