No, I understand. I can imagine it's very difficult to take a step back and look at it from a different perspective after something like that. It's very... personal, seeing something you did in your past life like that.
I really do appreciate that you're trying to look at it that way, though. I think it'll be good to keep it in mind, even if you can't always see it that way.
[That's what's bothering him, in some way; it's just difficult to explain.]
Most of my other memories feel more distant than that. It's always just business, something I'm doing because I'm after something more important than anyone standing in the way. But this... It was very simple, and very graphic, and it was something I was doing because I wanted to. I could have killed him quickly and been done with it, but I wanted to torture him. I wanted to watch him suffer, and I wanted to see him die.
[He's not sure what to say to that, and it's probably obvious. After a moment he shifts a little, moving closer and freeing his hand so he can wrap his arms around Wesker.]
I'm sorry. It must have been very difficult to see that once, let alone repeatedly in your dreams.
For a moment he doesn't seem altogether sure what to do with that; it takes him a second to get himself sorted, but eventually he'll lean into the embrace a bit more, settling against Jaeger in a manner that's...admittedly a little awkward but he's trying.]
I know you will be. You always find a way. But it's okay to hurt for a little while, and it's okay to lean on people when you need help.
...I really am very happy you came to me with this. I know that sounds a little strange to say given everything... but being here for you is very important to me. I always want to be able to help you in any way I can, after all.
I'm glad. You've told me that before, but it's taken a little while for it to sink in... It's not that I didn't believe you before! I just... I always feel like I should be doing something.
But I do understand how important it is to be here for you, and I promise I will be. For as long as I can.
[He tips his head a bit at that; feeling the need to do something...]
I think i understand, when you put it that way. But I don't always need you to comfort me somehow, I just need you to be there. That's always been more important to me.
You don't have to worry about that. Being here for you has always been important to me, it's only recently that I've finally started to understand just how much that means to you too.
It's okay, trusting people can be very difficult, ja? I'm not upset or angry about it. I understand; you're still the only person I can trust fully like this. I'm... working on it, but it's nowhere near as easy with anyone else.
It's never been easy for me. My past life never trusted anyone fully, but likewise seemed to enjoy simply spending time with people I liked - a lot of the memories that I seemed to consider positive back then were very simple things like that.
As for nowadays...well, I have you. I don't trust anyone else like this, but then I've never really had much reason to.
It's not easy, but that's why it's so important to me that you can trust me. I'm really happy, Albert.
[He has a hard enough time of it, but after everything Wesker went through in both this life and his previous one... well, it's impressive that he can trust anyone.]
[He shifts a bit where he's leaning against Jaeger; eventually he'll nuzzle up to him a little. It's another of those gestures that's probably always going to be awkward, but there's an attempt at least.]
[It gets a soft sound out of him and he's quick to return it. His grip tightens on Wesker a bit and even though his boyfriend isn't exactly comfortable, this is really nice...]
[Ah... Jaeger's grip tightening against his body feels really nice, actually, and it gets him to relax against him almost immediately; he can't even begin to explain why but a lot of the tension is just gone, and he nuzzles him again, and it takes him a little while to say anything but eventually he will.]
You've always been good at making me feel loved, you know.
[It is... But that's probably not surprising, considering how much Jaeger adores physical affection...]
I love you too, I love you so much... I'm really happy like this. I know things can be really hard on you, but you're doing an amazing job handling everything. I'm really happy you seem to be feeling better, nightmares aside.
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I know this is difficult, and I'm sure you would have preferred not to wake me... but I'm very glad you did.
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[Mnngh.]
As I said, I am still trying to keep in mind what you told me. It's just difficult to keep in mind when I'm recalling things like that.
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I really do appreciate that you're trying to look at it that way, though. I think it'll be good to keep it in mind, even if you can't always see it that way.
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[That's what's bothering him, in some way; it's just difficult to explain.]
Most of my other memories feel more distant than that. It's always just business, something I'm doing because I'm after something more important than anyone standing in the way. But this... It was very simple, and very graphic, and it was something I was doing because I wanted to. I could have killed him quickly and been done with it, but I wanted to torture him. I wanted to watch him suffer, and I wanted to see him die.
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[He's not sure what to say to that, and it's probably obvious. After a moment he shifts a little, moving closer and freeing his hand so he can wrap his arms around Wesker.]
I'm sorry. It must have been very difficult to see that once, let alone repeatedly in your dreams.
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For a moment he doesn't seem altogether sure what to do with that; it takes him a second to get himself sorted, but eventually he'll lean into the embrace a bit more, settling against Jaeger in a manner that's...admittedly a little awkward but he's trying.]
I'll be all right. It's over now, at any rate.
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...I really am very happy you came to me with this. I know that sounds a little strange to say given everything... but being here for you is very important to me. I always want to be able to help you in any way I can, after all.
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But I do understand how important it is to be here for you, and I promise I will be. For as long as I can.
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I think i understand, when you put it that way. But I don't always need you to comfort me somehow, I just need you to be there. That's always been more important to me.
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...I told you that for a long time I couldn't speak.
[So talking things out wasn't really an option, nor was asking people to do things for him if he needed them.
Being there for him, though, was something that people could do for him if he needed it. Just letting him stay near them without saying anything.]
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[He understands that better now. Spending time with someone you care about and can trust like that... he definitely gets it.]
It's important to me that you can trust and rely on me like that. Being able to support you like this... it really does mean so much to me.
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I know it's taken me a long time to trust you like this.
[It's not an apology, but it is acknowledgement.]
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As for nowadays...well, I have you. I don't trust anyone else like this, but then I've never really had much reason to.
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[He has a hard enough time of it, but after everything Wesker went through in both this life and his previous one... well, it's impressive that he can trust anyone.]
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[He shifts a bit where he's leaning against Jaeger; eventually he'll nuzzle up to him a little. It's another of those gestures that's probably always going to be awkward, but there's an attempt at least.]
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I love you so much.
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You've always been good at making me feel loved, you know.
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It's always been so important to me to make sure you know, especially when I couldn't manage the words. I never want you to have to question that.
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[This is comfortable - at least as much as it can be, considering.]
I love you.
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I love you too, I love you so much... I'm really happy like this. I know things can be really hard on you, but you're doing an amazing job handling everything. I'm really happy you seem to be feeling better, nightmares aside.
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Is it really that obvious...?
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