I'm sorry, Albert. I wish you didn't have to remember something like that, I wish things would have been better for you in your past life.
[There's nothing that can be done about his past life, the only thing he can really do is try to be here for Wesker now. It's frustrating that he can't do anything more.]
I'm not certain if we should be wishing they were better for me as much as anyone who came in contact with me.
[Just...saying.
He shakes his head eventually, though.]
I am trying to keep in mind what you told me - that perhaps if I had had a better life from the beginning, if Spencer's experiments hadn't happened, then perhaps I wouldn't have been like that. That it doesn't excuse anything, but it does explain it. But it doesn't seem right to try to sympathize with someone who openly tortured people like that.
...I think it was something like eleven years, from the time of the incident in the mansion to the time I died. I doubt he had much peace of mind inbetween. There were brief periods of time where he thought I was dead, and I'm sure that gave him some respite, at least.
...That was one of the reasons he was my favorite, I think. When we were both on the force.
[He doesn't sound much calmer, but he does seem...sort of fond, tone-wise; it isn't a bad shift in topic.]
I always felt that he was naive back then - that he and Jill both were. But Chris was a very strong person. Very resilient, very capable. A little prone to thinking in absolutes, and more than a bit bullheaded about things - even back before everything happened, our personalities clashed a little, but it was never anything heated. Just differences in ideologies, and an unwillingness to compromise on those ideologies.
...He was a bit like me, I think, and I liked that. I could understand him a little, even if I couldn't relate to him.
It's good to find people like that, I think. People who are similar enough to you but cause you to challenge yourself and your worldview... I think those sorts of relationships are very important. Clashing a little isn't a bad thing.
Do you remember much about him from your time on the force?
Not much, unfortunately. I remember coming across him during the incident in the mansion; I split away from the others to...do something, I don't remember what, presumably all of that business with Barry; he found me at one point and seemed absolutely worried sick, though he was trying very hard not to show it. He was very grateful to find me alive... We investigated together, briefly, but after a while I sent him away to handle something else.
It wasn't anything I cared about, but it was strange for me, regardless.
I wasn't very used to people worrying about me. No one in Umbrella would have cared enough, and no one outside of it had any reason to before that point.
I understand. Given everything you've told me, I'm not surprised to hear that it was strange for you. Did it bother you at the time or was it just strange?
No, I understand. I can imagine it's very difficult to take a step back and look at it from a different perspective after something like that. It's very... personal, seeing something you did in your past life like that.
I really do appreciate that you're trying to look at it that way, though. I think it'll be good to keep it in mind, even if you can't always see it that way.
[That's what's bothering him, in some way; it's just difficult to explain.]
Most of my other memories feel more distant than that. It's always just business, something I'm doing because I'm after something more important than anyone standing in the way. But this... It was very simple, and very graphic, and it was something I was doing because I wanted to. I could have killed him quickly and been done with it, but I wanted to torture him. I wanted to watch him suffer, and I wanted to see him die.
[He's not sure what to say to that, and it's probably obvious. After a moment he shifts a little, moving closer and freeing his hand so he can wrap his arms around Wesker.]
I'm sorry. It must have been very difficult to see that once, let alone repeatedly in your dreams.
For a moment he doesn't seem altogether sure what to do with that; it takes him a second to get himself sorted, but eventually he'll lean into the embrace a bit more, settling against Jaeger in a manner that's...admittedly a little awkward but he's trying.]
I know you will be. You always find a way. But it's okay to hurt for a little while, and it's okay to lean on people when you need help.
...I really am very happy you came to me with this. I know that sounds a little strange to say given everything... but being here for you is very important to me. I always want to be able to help you in any way I can, after all.
I'm glad. You've told me that before, but it's taken a little while for it to sink in... It's not that I didn't believe you before! I just... I always feel like I should be doing something.
But I do understand how important it is to be here for you, and I promise I will be. For as long as I can.
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I'm sorry, Albert. I wish you didn't have to remember something like that, I wish things would have been better for you in your past life.
[There's nothing that can be done about his past life, the only thing he can really do is try to be here for Wesker now. It's frustrating that he can't do anything more.]
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[Just...saying.
He shakes his head eventually, though.]
I am trying to keep in mind what you told me - that perhaps if I had had a better life from the beginning, if Spencer's experiments hadn't happened, then perhaps I wouldn't have been like that. That it doesn't excuse anything, but it does explain it. But it doesn't seem right to try to sympathize with someone who openly tortured people like that.
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That's fair, and were it anyone else I doubt I'd try to sympathize with them at all.
But it is your past life, and I'm always going to have a difficult time looking at it without that bias.
...You're certainly right, though; I do wish Chris' life had been easier. It certainly sounds like he had a very difficult time...
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[That definitely seems excessive...]
I hope things were better for him eventually.
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[It's...hesitant, like he's not sure he even has the right to say it, but it's entirely genuine.]
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He certainly sounds like a very resilient person. It seems like he always found a way to pick up and keep going, no matter what happened to him.
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[He doesn't sound much calmer, but he does seem...sort of fond, tone-wise; it isn't a bad shift in topic.]
I always felt that he was naive back then - that he and Jill both were. But Chris was a very strong person. Very resilient, very capable. A little prone to thinking in absolutes, and more than a bit bullheaded about things - even back before everything happened, our personalities clashed a little, but it was never anything heated. Just differences in ideologies, and an unwillingness to compromise on those ideologies.
...He was a bit like me, I think, and I liked that. I could understand him a little, even if I couldn't relate to him.
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Do you remember much about him from your time on the force?
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It wasn't anything I cared about, but it was strange for me, regardless.
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[That's sort of cute... And then you just had to be aggressively yourself and make everything awful, good job, Wesker...]
What was so strange about it?
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[Hm.]
It was more as though I had to take a moment to remind myself that people do that sometimes.
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[He's quiet for a moment.]
Do you feel a little calmer now?
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I know this is difficult, and I'm sure you would have preferred not to wake me... but I'm very glad you did.
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[Mnngh.]
As I said, I am still trying to keep in mind what you told me. It's just difficult to keep in mind when I'm recalling things like that.
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I really do appreciate that you're trying to look at it that way, though. I think it'll be good to keep it in mind, even if you can't always see it that way.
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[That's what's bothering him, in some way; it's just difficult to explain.]
Most of my other memories feel more distant than that. It's always just business, something I'm doing because I'm after something more important than anyone standing in the way. But this... It was very simple, and very graphic, and it was something I was doing because I wanted to. I could have killed him quickly and been done with it, but I wanted to torture him. I wanted to watch him suffer, and I wanted to see him die.
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[He's not sure what to say to that, and it's probably obvious. After a moment he shifts a little, moving closer and freeing his hand so he can wrap his arms around Wesker.]
I'm sorry. It must have been very difficult to see that once, let alone repeatedly in your dreams.
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For a moment he doesn't seem altogether sure what to do with that; it takes him a second to get himself sorted, but eventually he'll lean into the embrace a bit more, settling against Jaeger in a manner that's...admittedly a little awkward but he's trying.]
I'll be all right. It's over now, at any rate.
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...I really am very happy you came to me with this. I know that sounds a little strange to say given everything... but being here for you is very important to me. I always want to be able to help you in any way I can, after all.
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But I do understand how important it is to be here for you, and I promise I will be. For as long as I can.
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