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[scythegun]

GUNTHER SCHWARZ

Jaeger. Leviathan's Claw owner. Not particularly pleased to be here.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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Comments

[manufactured]

[why are you like this.]

I was wondering if you could do something for me, actually.

[And you are getting paper and pen shoved at you, good sir.]

You owe me a drawing of that one particularly stupid outfit you've seen in your memories, I believe. The one you've mentioned a few times as being worse than yours.

[Because you know what's easier than discussing actual traumatic shit? This.]

[scythegun]

[This is absolutely easier than discussing actual traumatic shit and Jaeger lights up when he hears Wesker's request.]

Oh, I'd love to! My drawing skills aren't the best, but I should be able to recreate it, give me a moment!

[He'll pick up the pen and set to work, then! Jaeger's actually not bad at drawing at all, though the majority of his attention is on the person's outfit rather than their face or hair. It looks a little something like this. Once he's satisfied with the clothes he goes back and draws a >:| expression on the man's face.]

There we go! That should give you an idea of just how hideous his outfit was!

[manufactured]

[Oh, that's...]

...What is that.

[like just. any of that? what the fuck is even happening here.]

[scythegun]

Isn't it dreadful? It's way worse than my outfit!

[DON'T ASK HIM, HE DOESN'T KNOW.]

[manufactured]

[...]

I'd say that I understand what all the pieces are, just not together like that, but at this point I'm not even certain that's accurate.

[Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.]

I'd also say you're making it up, but this is so utterly bizarre that I'm going to assume that either you actually saw this somewhere or you were hit with a divine bolt of inspiration from on high.

[scythegun]

I wish I was making this up! I'm genuinely sad I'm not creative enough to make something like this up, honestly! But no, this is exactly what he was wearing! You're missing the best part though - the colors!

[He'll quickly write out a list of which part is which color and then pass the paper back to Wesker with a smug look on his face. He knows how absolutely shitty this is and he's so pleased he gets to share it, okay.]

[manufactured]

[............................]

And you said his hair was blue.

[ON TOP OF ALL THIS.]

[scythegun]

Light blue.

[HE SOUNDS SO PROUD.]

[manufactured]

...In other words, no one from your world of origin is permitted to dress themselves.

[THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU.]

[scythegun]

[...thinks about this...]

Ja, you're absolutely right. None of us were dressed in sane clothes.

[manufactured]

I'm assuming the others you've seen were at least slightly better than yours, given that this is what you're falling back on as an example of "something worse."

[scythegun]

Well, some of them were about the same as mine! But otherwise yes, most of them were better...

[He hates his outfit so much, oh my god.]

[manufactured]

I'm almost sorry for you.

[...i mean wesker's kind of judging everyone's life choices here tbh

apparently you and some prostitute were trying to start a war??

what the hell did the union do to you

...what the hell did the union do to this hooker]

[scythegun]

[that is a very good question, honestly]

My life truly is suffering, Albert.

[it's so Difficult]

[manufactured]

Between everything you've told me and this person's outfit, I'm not sure which of you is having the larger crisis, honestly.

[scythegun]

I want to say he is because of the outfit, but honestly I have no idea! I don't remember very much about him, fortunately.

[That's probably going to change at some point, but for now he doesn't have to suffer with that knowledge!!]

[manufactured]

The less you know, the better, most likely.

[...look at him.]

[scythegun]

Precisely what I was thinking! He's probably a bad influence on me!

[Or maybe it's the other way around...]

[manufactured]

[...You know, he'd say that not even your influence could possibly be this bad, but first of all look at you, and second of all he is entirely willing to believe that someone dressed this person up like the world's worst Barbie.]

...I'll take your word for it.

[scythegun]

Don't look at me like that, it's possible...

[Not likely, but definitely possible...!!]

[manufactured]

I don't recall saying that it wasn't.

[...keep lying to yourself, buddy]

[scythegun]

[HE TOTALLY WILL!!

Anyway, he'll sigh and pull the paper back to doodle some more.]

His outfit is the worst I've seen, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's someone wearing something just as bad. I have no idea what could be just as bad as that, but I'm sure this world could come up with something.

[manufactured]

It seems interesting, at any rate.

[Just judging by the people who crawl out of it, anyway.]

You'll have to tell me more about it once you've remembered, you know. The world in general.

[scythegun]

I'd certainly like to. It does seem interesting, if a little... bizarre, at times. I'm still not sure why that dog has a pipe in its mouth.

[of all things to get stuck on...]

[manufactured]

As much as I'd like to provide even a possible explanation for that one, I've no idea either.

[...Outside of "maybe he just likes it", but that's dumb??]