scythegun | INBOX

Yours.

[He has his reasons for wanting to start there, though he doesn't seem particularly interested in voicing them; he doesn't imagine Jaeger will do it for malicious reasons, but at the same time the man likes to ignore his problems - and it's decidedly easier to do that and not work back around to them if they start with something else.]

We can discuss mine after the fact, and I'll ensure that we do. But we aren't starting there.

Okay.

[Yeah, that is absolutely fair. He hates addressing his problems and judging from his expression, he's already regretting all of this. But he's going to press on anyway, because he said he'd talk about it.]

...I don't really know where to start. It's not as common a nightmare as yours, apparently. But it does happen sometimes.

What does it usually say to you...?

[That seems as good a place to start as any; is it just a lot of what he saw himself, or...?]

The same sort of thing, usually. We usually fight for awhile and he kills me. He's always better than I am and he taunts me the whole time we fight. He really doesn't know when to shut up.

[Sort of like Jaeger himself. And while he sounds like he's trying to keep it light, it's obviously not working.]

...It sounds difficult to deal with.

[He hasn't dealt with that exact thing, not so explicitly, but similar themes surface in his dreams from time to time; it's...unpleasant, to say the least.]

Do you believe the things he tells you?

[...He wants to say no, but...]

On some level, I think. If I didn't, I wouldn't have nightmares about it, ja?

[He absently moves to play with his sleeves, pulling at the hem a bit.]

I've been having a bit of a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I am supposed to be him, I think. It's easier to separate it, to think that we aren't the same person. I was so hoping that's how things would be, but...

[He's been having a difficult time since that was revealed.]

I understand.

[And from the sound of it, he does; he shifts a bit where he's sitting, leans forward over the desk a bit.]

Whatever we were in the past, and whether we are supposed to be those people or not - I don't think it's possible for us to become those exact people again. Change can still happen, of course, and it's naive to think that it won't. But we've had experiences here that have made a complete reversion rather unlikely, if not directly impossible, I'd think.

That's what I want to believe. I don't think it's possible either, but... Well, we don't know just what Retrospec will do.

...I'm scared of losing who I am now. I'm certainly not perfect - as much as I like to pretend I am! - but I'm better off now. I have people I genuinely care about. He... I don't know if he did or not. He had his daughters, but he treated them more like bodyguards. Even though they're my memories, I just don't understand him.

[...]

I'll do whatever I can for you, then. To ensure that you don't lose what you have.

[It's not something he can promise with all certainty, but he can at least promise the attempt.]

I'm not certain what I can offer you, in that regard. It's likely that you don't know either, and that's fine. But if there ever is anything, ask me and it's yours.

[That gets him to smile, at least.]

Thank you, Albert. You're always looking out for me! It's very kind of you. I'm glad I have you in my life.

[He's settled a bit too; the topic of conversation still has him a bit on edge, but this is surprisingly easier to talk about than he thought it'd be.]

Well, I don't see why I wouldn't. I'm extremely obstinate when it comes to causes I consider worth fighting for.

[Yes, yes, he's glad to have you as well, all right.]

I'm honored I'm considered one of those causes!

[He laughs a bit before settling again.]

Do you have any other questions about what you saw in my dream?

[He considers for a moment, before just- ]

Not so much a question as a request - tell me if anything changes...? Whether in the outcome itself, or just what he decides to say to you.

[Oh, that's...]

I'll be sure to let you know. I'm sure that's not the last I've seen of him.

[But maybe next time things will go a little differently.]

Consider it appreciated.

[...]

I'm really not angry with you for not telling me about this sooner. Regardless of what he was trying to imply to you.

Ah, that's good to hear. I didn't really think you would be, but...

[Well, obviously some part of him was worried about it anyway.]

I suppose I'm still trying to get used to talking to you about these sorts of things. I think I'm doing okay, though. I haven't even tried to change the subject yet!

[But he did just get aggressively cheerful again, so.]

I've noticed.

[He's almost proud of you, Jaeger, truly.]

Am I assuming that it's just a general dislike of discussing things like this overall, or...

[...Or. He's. Not sure how to finish that, hang on.]

...I'm aware that I'm hardly the first person anyone would willingly seek out for this sort of thing.

[Nailed it.]

Huh? Oh no, no it's not because of you!

[That seems to have caught him off-guard, hang on.]

I haven't really talked about anything quite like this in a long time. I used to be better about it, if you can believe that. But I thought it would be best to shut all of that off, so I stopped acknowledging things that bothered me and just pretended like everything was fine. Sometimes it worked.

[But most of the time it didn't, and now he's a gigantic mess. Good job, Jaeger!!]

[...That's. Um. He is pretty sure that's not good?]

I can't say I understand, exactly, but I suppose it's good that you're talking about it now.

[...He's pretty sure that's not good but he's not competent enough with feelings to dispute it very far.]

It's complicated. I don't really like to admit it, but I think my last relationship sort of messed me up a bit!

[Just a little tiny bit...]

It does seem that way, yes.

[...That was blunt.]

I'll do what I can to not contribute to that further, then.

You don't have to worry about that! You're helping a lot, you know. I don't think there's anyone else who could have gotten me to admit even that much!

[He gets flippant and ridiculous the second anyone else brings up serious topics of conversation, but Wesker's different. He's not entirely sure how or why, but he's not about to complain.]

...I'm flattered, then.

[And absolutely unsure of what to do with that knowledge, but that's. fine, probably.]

[Probably fine!!]

I can't think of anything else to say about my nightmare, but thank you for being patient with me. I'm still working out how to actually talk about these sorts of things without dismissing them outright! It's surprisingly difficult.

Of course, Jaeger. I'd hope you know by now that I don't mind.

[...He isn't usually the avoidant sort, but he can see where doing pretty much anything else is preferable to talking about these particular nightmares, to be fair.]

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