Ah, that's good to hear. I didn't really think you would be, but...
[Well, obviously some part of him was worried about it anyway.]
I suppose I'm still trying to get used to talking to you about these sorts of things. I think I'm doing okay, though. I haven't even tried to change the subject yet!
[But he did just get aggressively cheerful again, so.]
[That seems to have caught him off-guard, hang on.]
I haven't really talked about anything quite like this in a long time. I used to be better about it, if you can believe that. But I thought it would be best to shut all of that off, so I stopped acknowledging things that bothered me and just pretended like everything was fine. Sometimes it worked.
[But most of the time it didn't, and now he's a gigantic mess. Good job, Jaeger!!]
You don't have to worry about that! You're helping a lot, you know. I don't think there's anyone else who could have gotten me to admit even that much!
[He gets flippant and ridiculous the second anyone else brings up serious topics of conversation, but Wesker's different. He's not entirely sure how or why, but he's not about to complain.]
I can't think of anything else to say about my nightmare, but thank you for being patient with me. I'm still working out how to actually talk about these sorts of things without dismissing them outright! It's surprisingly difficult.
Of course, Jaeger. I'd hope you know by now that I don't mind.
[...He isn't usually the avoidant sort, but he can see where doing pretty much anything else is preferable to talking about these particular nightmares, to be fair.]
It's things like this that make me think that perhaps we won't lose ourselves entirely; I'm fairly sure the person in my memories didn't have anyone like this.
[...I mean, he had, like. Birkin? And maybe Sergei, because he's not sure how to interpret Sergei. But that was different and kind of a mess, he's pretty sure.]
Well, I'm glad I can be here for you! I'll be here for you for as long as I can be! I hope whatever changes we end up going through don't drive us apart; I'd be furious if that happened!
[He sighs a bit at that, the exhale forceful and somewhat frustrated; just...give him a moment.]
...She was with me for a short while, further inside the ship. She seemed under the impression that we were going somewhere; I told her that she wasn't, and then I injected her with...something.
Then I grabbed her by the arm and shoved her out onto the deck, and locked the door behind her.
[...]
There was a chance that whatever I injected her with wouldn't kill the host, but I knew for a fact that it would kill her. I was certain of it at the time, and I taunted her for it over the ship's public-address system after I threw her out there.
Everything from that point was as I told you. There was a massive creature that absorbed a large number of corpses that were already on the deck, and it quickly became that. A pair of people that I was highly invested in killing proceeded to destroy it while I watched.
I just didn't mention Excella's death was related to that incident, as you've noticed.
[Jaeger's quiet through all of that and once Wesker's done, he's not sure what to say.]
...I'm sorry you had to remember something like that.
[He has a better understanding of the sort of things Wesker's been remembering now and if even half of them are as terrifying as that dream... Well, he has no idea how Wesker's been dealing with it, to be honest. He's not sure he could.]
I can understand why you wouldn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry I'm asking you questions about it too, but...
[But he's got at least one more and it's the one he really doesn't want to ask. Jaeger shifts a bit where he's seated, but he doesn't look away.]
...Do you really believe you deserve to die for that?
[He seems to consider that for a long moment; it's not like the usual silence when something comes up that he doesn't like, however - he isn't freezing up, it isn't that he can't force words to suit the answer. This is something else entirely, something closer to the odd blankness back on the ship, and he isn't looking away, either.]
We've discussed this before, as I recall, and you didn't like what I had to say about it.
[Regarding how the person in his memories deserved hell, or at the very least deserved to remain dead to begin with.]
[That does get Jaeger to glance away for a moment while he tries to find something to say.]
...I see.
[...]
I don't agree, but I'm sure you already know that. You wouldn't have done something like that to her.
[There isn't any fight in him this time though. He doesn't want to argue with Wesker about whether or not he deserves to die, so after a moment Jaeger shakes his head.]
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[Well, obviously some part of him was worried about it anyway.]
I suppose I'm still trying to get used to talking to you about these sorts of things. I think I'm doing okay, though. I haven't even tried to change the subject yet!
[But he did just get aggressively cheerful again, so.]
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[He's almost proud of you, Jaeger, truly.]
Am I assuming that it's just a general dislike of discussing things like this overall, or...
[...Or. He's. Not sure how to finish that, hang on.]
...I'm aware that I'm hardly the first person anyone would willingly seek out for this sort of thing.
[Nailed it.]
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[That seems to have caught him off-guard, hang on.]
I haven't really talked about anything quite like this in a long time. I used to be better about it, if you can believe that. But I thought it would be best to shut all of that off, so I stopped acknowledging things that bothered me and just pretended like everything was fine. Sometimes it worked.
[But most of the time it didn't, and now he's a gigantic mess. Good job, Jaeger!!]
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I can't say I understand, exactly, but I suppose it's good that you're talking about it now.
[...He's pretty sure that's not good but he's not competent enough with feelings to dispute it very far.]
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[Just a little tiny bit...]
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[...That was blunt.]
I'll do what I can to not contribute to that further, then.
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[He gets flippant and ridiculous the second anyone else brings up serious topics of conversation, but Wesker's different. He's not entirely sure how or why, but he's not about to complain.]
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[And absolutely unsure of what to do with that knowledge, but that's. fine, probably.]
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I can't think of anything else to say about my nightmare, but thank you for being patient with me. I'm still working out how to actually talk about these sorts of things without dismissing them outright! It's surprisingly difficult.
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[...He isn't usually the avoidant sort, but he can see where doing pretty much anything else is preferable to talking about these particular nightmares, to be fair.]
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[Yeah, this is... kind of a lot, especially after talking about something sort of fun, like the pastel disaster.]
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It's things like this that make me think that perhaps we won't lose ourselves entirely; I'm fairly sure the person in my memories didn't have anyone like this.
[...I mean, he had, like. Birkin? And maybe Sergei, because he's not sure how to interpret Sergei. But that was different and kind of a mess, he's pretty sure.]
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Well, I'm glad I can be here for you! I'll be here for you for as long as I can be! I hope whatever changes we end up going through don't drive us apart; I'd be furious if that happened!
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He doesn't seem to know what to do with that, but then, he tends to not; just...give him a moment to sort himself out.]
...It's as I've said before. I'd like for things to remain like this between us.
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[He settles again once that's out there, though.]
I suppose we should talk about your nightmare too, ja?
[His expression's gone back to something serious, anyway.]
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If you have questions regarding it, I suppose it's only fair that I answer.
[Wesker, please.]
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[But where does he even start...]
Why didn't you tell me about what happened to Excella? Well, you did, but I didn't realize you were talking about the same incident.
[He's actually got a pretty good guess why you didn't tell him the whole truth, but he wants to hear it from Wesker.]
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[I mean. You saw it.]
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[y i k e s.]
How long have you been having this nightmare for? Since you received that memory?
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[...]
I remember more of the incident than what you saw. That just happens to be what my mind fixated on. Again, for obvious reasons.
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...She was with me for a short while, further inside the ship. She seemed under the impression that we were going somewhere; I told her that she wasn't, and then I injected her with...something.
Then I grabbed her by the arm and shoved her out onto the deck, and locked the door behind her.
[...]
There was a chance that whatever I injected her with wouldn't kill the host, but I knew for a fact that it would kill her. I was certain of it at the time, and I taunted her for it over the ship's public-address system after I threw her out there.
Everything from that point was as I told you. There was a massive creature that absorbed a large number of corpses that were already on the deck, and it quickly became that. A pair of people that I was highly invested in killing proceeded to destroy it while I watched.
I just didn't mention Excella's death was related to that incident, as you've noticed.
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...I'm sorry you had to remember something like that.
[He has a better understanding of the sort of things Wesker's been remembering now and if even half of them are as terrifying as that dream... Well, he has no idea how Wesker's been dealing with it, to be honest. He's not sure he could.]
I can understand why you wouldn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry I'm asking you questions about it too, but...
[But he's got at least one more and it's the one he really doesn't want to ask. Jaeger shifts a bit where he's seated, but he doesn't look away.]
...Do you really believe you deserve to die for that?
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We've discussed this before, as I recall, and you didn't like what I had to say about it.
[Regarding how the person in his memories deserved hell, or at the very least deserved to remain dead to begin with.]
My answer hasn't changed.
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...I see.
[...]
I don't agree, but I'm sure you already know that. You wouldn't have done something like that to her.
[There isn't any fight in him this time though. He doesn't want to argue with Wesker about whether or not he deserves to die, so after a moment Jaeger shakes his head.]
I doubt I can convince you otherwise, though.
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