[He sighs a bit at that, the exhale forceful and somewhat frustrated; just...give him a moment.]
...She was with me for a short while, further inside the ship. She seemed under the impression that we were going somewhere; I told her that she wasn't, and then I injected her with...something.
Then I grabbed her by the arm and shoved her out onto the deck, and locked the door behind her.
[...]
There was a chance that whatever I injected her with wouldn't kill the host, but I knew for a fact that it would kill her. I was certain of it at the time, and I taunted her for it over the ship's public-address system after I threw her out there.
Everything from that point was as I told you. There was a massive creature that absorbed a large number of corpses that were already on the deck, and it quickly became that. A pair of people that I was highly invested in killing proceeded to destroy it while I watched.
I just didn't mention Excella's death was related to that incident, as you've noticed.
[Jaeger's quiet through all of that and once Wesker's done, he's not sure what to say.]
...I'm sorry you had to remember something like that.
[He has a better understanding of the sort of things Wesker's been remembering now and if even half of them are as terrifying as that dream... Well, he has no idea how Wesker's been dealing with it, to be honest. He's not sure he could.]
I can understand why you wouldn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry I'm asking you questions about it too, but...
[But he's got at least one more and it's the one he really doesn't want to ask. Jaeger shifts a bit where he's seated, but he doesn't look away.]
...Do you really believe you deserve to die for that?
[He seems to consider that for a long moment; it's not like the usual silence when something comes up that he doesn't like, however - he isn't freezing up, it isn't that he can't force words to suit the answer. This is something else entirely, something closer to the odd blankness back on the ship, and he isn't looking away, either.]
We've discussed this before, as I recall, and you didn't like what I had to say about it.
[Regarding how the person in his memories deserved hell, or at the very least deserved to remain dead to begin with.]
[That does get Jaeger to glance away for a moment while he tries to find something to say.]
...I see.
[...]
I don't agree, but I'm sure you already know that. You wouldn't have done something like that to her.
[There isn't any fight in him this time though. He doesn't want to argue with Wesker about whether or not he deserves to die, so after a moment Jaeger shakes his head.]
I know how you feel about it. And I'm not particularly interested in turning this into a fight, so I appreciate the fact that apparently you agree on that front.
[He still seems tense, that much doesn't seem to be leaving him, but his words remain more or less even as he speaks.]
Whether I would do that to her now or not is irrelevant, in the scheme of things. If we really are these people in our memories, the point isn't whether I would or not. The point is that I already have. These memories wouldn't exist otherwise.
What I believe I deserve is based solely on what I know that I've done. That's all.
[He actually does look away at that; it takes him a moment to answer.]
...Regardless of what I believe I deserve, there are several things that would stand in the way of acting on anything like that. I still don't have all of the answers I'm seeking, for one thing; I've decided that I'm going to see that through, regardless of how unpleasant those answers are in the end.
I also won't...
[And there's where the words seem to die on him a bit, settling back into the usual odd pattern of freezing up while he tries to get them to cooperate; he shakes his head for a moment before he continues.]
...I understand how badly that would upset you, and I'm not going to do that to you.
I won't do anything because of this. If not for my own sake, then for those reasons, at least.
[The tension leaves Jaeger all at once and normally he'd shake his head and laugh it off because of course Wesker wouldn't do anything like that. Of course he wouldn't.
But he doesn't laugh, instead he just nods, his smile subdued.]
Thank you. I can't really express just how much it means to me to hear that, but I truly appreciate it. I don't want anything to happen to you, Albert.
[It's a little late for that sentiment given the memories Wesker's been getting back, but he's trying.]
[...And we're getting back into territory that he doesn't really know what to do with, good lord.]
I'll do what I can to ensure that nothing does, then. I can't guarantee anything, however - you know how I am.
[Like, he's going to be fine until we're facing some horrible monster down and he decides it's shaped like a friend and tries to pet it or something, because his fear response is stupid and doesn't work.]
[That just gets further hesitation out of him, really, before he just kind of...presses on with it; he's already seen Excella, after all, and keeping parts of this in his head has been getting increasingly difficult, and- ]
...I know I've done that to at least two other people. What I did to her. Deliberately infecting them with something that's going to get a result like that.
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[He settles again once that's out there, though.]
I suppose we should talk about your nightmare too, ja?
[His expression's gone back to something serious, anyway.]
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If you have questions regarding it, I suppose it's only fair that I answer.
[Wesker, please.]
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[But where does he even start...]
Why didn't you tell me about what happened to Excella? Well, you did, but I didn't realize you were talking about the same incident.
[He's actually got a pretty good guess why you didn't tell him the whole truth, but he wants to hear it from Wesker.]
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[I mean. You saw it.]
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[y i k e s.]
How long have you been having this nightmare for? Since you received that memory?
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[...]
I remember more of the incident than what you saw. That just happens to be what my mind fixated on. Again, for obvious reasons.
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...She was with me for a short while, further inside the ship. She seemed under the impression that we were going somewhere; I told her that she wasn't, and then I injected her with...something.
Then I grabbed her by the arm and shoved her out onto the deck, and locked the door behind her.
[...]
There was a chance that whatever I injected her with wouldn't kill the host, but I knew for a fact that it would kill her. I was certain of it at the time, and I taunted her for it over the ship's public-address system after I threw her out there.
Everything from that point was as I told you. There was a massive creature that absorbed a large number of corpses that were already on the deck, and it quickly became that. A pair of people that I was highly invested in killing proceeded to destroy it while I watched.
I just didn't mention Excella's death was related to that incident, as you've noticed.
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...I'm sorry you had to remember something like that.
[He has a better understanding of the sort of things Wesker's been remembering now and if even half of them are as terrifying as that dream... Well, he has no idea how Wesker's been dealing with it, to be honest. He's not sure he could.]
I can understand why you wouldn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry I'm asking you questions about it too, but...
[But he's got at least one more and it's the one he really doesn't want to ask. Jaeger shifts a bit where he's seated, but he doesn't look away.]
...Do you really believe you deserve to die for that?
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We've discussed this before, as I recall, and you didn't like what I had to say about it.
[Regarding how the person in his memories deserved hell, or at the very least deserved to remain dead to begin with.]
My answer hasn't changed.
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...I see.
[...]
I don't agree, but I'm sure you already know that. You wouldn't have done something like that to her.
[There isn't any fight in him this time though. He doesn't want to argue with Wesker about whether or not he deserves to die, so after a moment Jaeger shakes his head.]
I doubt I can convince you otherwise, though.
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[He still seems tense, that much doesn't seem to be leaving him, but his words remain more or less even as he speaks.]
Whether I would do that to her now or not is irrelevant, in the scheme of things. If we really are these people in our memories, the point isn't whether I would or not. The point is that I already have. These memories wouldn't exist otherwise.
What I believe I deserve is based solely on what I know that I've done. That's all.
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I understand. I have one more question for you, then. I apologize, I'm sure this sounds very stupid, but I want to make sure...
You won't do anything because of this, ja? You'll still look out for yourself, won't you?
[He doesn't think Wesker will do anything stupid, but he needs to hear the answer for some reason he doesn't fully understand.]
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...Regardless of what I believe I deserve, there are several things that would stand in the way of acting on anything like that. I still don't have all of the answers I'm seeking, for one thing; I've decided that I'm going to see that through, regardless of how unpleasant those answers are in the end.
I also won't...
[And there's where the words seem to die on him a bit, settling back into the usual odd pattern of freezing up while he tries to get them to cooperate; he shakes his head for a moment before he continues.]
...I understand how badly that would upset you, and I'm not going to do that to you.
I won't do anything because of this. If not for my own sake, then for those reasons, at least.
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But he doesn't laugh, instead he just nods, his smile subdued.]
Thank you. I can't really express just how much it means to me to hear that, but I truly appreciate it. I don't want anything to happen to you, Albert.
[It's a little late for that sentiment given the memories Wesker's been getting back, but he's trying.]
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I'll do what I can to ensure that nothing does, then. I can't guarantee anything, however - you know how I am.
[Like, he's going to be fine until we're facing some horrible monster down and he decides it's shaped like a friend and tries to pet it or something, because his fear response is stupid and doesn't work.]
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Ja, I know. But that's what I'm here for! As long as I'm by your side, I'm sure things will work out!
[Or we'll both die horribly, either or!!]
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[He likes you where you are, with regards to that.]
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[But that seems to have settled him back to his usual level of cheer. He's still worried about Wesker, but he seems to be doing well enough, so...]
May I request something of you, though? Will you tell me if those dreams get worse or if you start feeling worse off about all of this?
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That does get him to hesitate, honestly.]
...Perhaps. There are still some things I don't think I can tell you.
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[...]
I know some of it will trouble you, besides.
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[He just wants Wesker to be as okay as he can be, given the circumstances.]
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...I know I've done that to at least two other people. What I did to her. Deliberately infecting them with something that's going to get a result like that.
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...I see... I'm so sorry, Albert.
[That you've been getting memories like this in the first place and that you've had to deal with this all on your own.]
Did they become monsters like her?
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