[He'll allow it, and he'll keep running his hand through Jaeger's hair as he considers that; when he speaks he doesn't sound bothered, it's just a statement, really.]
You did say you would hate the person I used to be.
[That gets him to tip his head a bit as he thinks about it. Did he say something like that? He can't say he feels that way now but...
...He did say that quite some time ago, didn't he?]
Honestly, I'd forgotten all about saying that...
[He sounds sort of sheepish. He really hopes Wesker hasn't been thinking too much about that, um.]
I don't feel like that anymore. I don't think I had enough information back then to really say something like that either, so I apologize. Knowing what I do now... I can't say I hate him. I... Well, I'm scared of the person you used to be, but I don't think I can hate him.
Well, there are a lot of reasons why. I suppose what it comes down to is that his point of view is something I don't think I could ever understand and that's... well, it's terrifying. It's scary to think that he got to the point where he hated everyone and was so full of rage. I understand that what was done to him was terrible, but still...
[He shakes his head.]
I think even back then it was partially because I was afraid.
...You don't have to justify it to me, you know. i understand if you hated who I used to be; I did a lot of things back then that warranted the hatred.
[...]
I'll admit that I'm concerned about feeling that way again; I don't think it's likely, but I understand what drove me to it then, and I can't say that it could never happen again here. But back then I didn't have anything left but the hatred; it wasn't a good thing, but I think in a way it's what kept me alive for so long.
I'm not saying it's nothing to be feared; I understand why you would feel that way. But I also understand why I ended up the way I was, and I can't really fault myself for it. I absolutely needed to die by the end of things, but I know why things ended that way.
[Jaeger doesn't want to agree with Wesker's final statement there, but... well, deep down he does agree with it. Wesker needed to die in his past life, but he's not like that anymore. Still, it's not something he can bring himself to say, so he'll just focus on the first part.]
I sincerely hope you're never left with only hatred. I don't ever want that to happen to you.
I can't say I understand, but I know enough about it now to have a better idea of what happened and why it happened. It scares me, but I'm glad I have at least some understanding.
The people in charge of the center decided that they would encourage us to fight - they wanted us to form a "rivalry", to see how we would perform under pressure and supposedly increase our productivity. I suspect it was an exercise to see which of us they were going to keep.
It didn't work; Birkin and I decided to collaborate rather than compete, and we finished what they set us to do well enough. But it was...stressful.
[...They very stupidly Power Of Friendship-ed their way through their superiors pushing them to fight, it was dumb but it worked.]
I can imagine! Being forced to compete to see which of you they'd keep... they really were very cruel, weren't they? At least you managed to see it through together.
...I'm fairly sure we were like that, just in general. He was far smarter than I was, actually, far more competent with regards to research. At least, that's the feeling I get, given how much I seemed to respect him.
[...You're kind of doing the flippant thing again. You tell him this sort of thing a lot with regards to people like Krauser, granted, but not usually this. cheerfully. um.]
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[He moves his other hand down so he can take Wesker's in both of his hands.]
Don't ever doubt that, okay? I love you just as much now as I did before. Nothing's going to change that.
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You did say you would hate the person I used to be.
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...He did say that quite some time ago, didn't he?]
Honestly, I'd forgotten all about saying that...
[He sounds sort of sheepish. He really hopes Wesker hasn't been thinking too much about that, um.]
I don't feel like that anymore. I don't think I had enough information back then to really say something like that either, so I apologize. Knowing what I do now... I can't say I hate him. I... Well, I'm scared of the person you used to be, but I don't think I can hate him.
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It isn't something that's been on his mind constantly, no, but it is something he's thought about; that said, though...]
Scared in what way...?
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Well, there are a lot of reasons why. I suppose what it comes down to is that his point of view is something I don't think I could ever understand and that's... well, it's terrifying. It's scary to think that he got to the point where he hated everyone and was so full of rage. I understand that what was done to him was terrible, but still...
[He shakes his head.]
I think even back then it was partially because I was afraid.
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[...]
I'll admit that I'm concerned about feeling that way again; I don't think it's likely, but I understand what drove me to it then, and I can't say that it could never happen again here. But back then I didn't have anything left but the hatred; it wasn't a good thing, but I think in a way it's what kept me alive for so long.
I'm not saying it's nothing to be feared; I understand why you would feel that way. But I also understand why I ended up the way I was, and I can't really fault myself for it. I absolutely needed to die by the end of things, but I know why things ended that way.
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I sincerely hope you're never left with only hatred. I don't ever want that to happen to you.
I can't say I understand, but I know enough about it now to have a better idea of what happened and why it happened. It scares me, but I'm glad I have at least some understanding.
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but I understand if you don't.
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[He's honestly not sure if he wants to know more or not. It's probably for the best if he doesn't.]
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[He understands, honestly...]
I remembered a bit more about what happened with Birkin, back at the training facility, but I think I've told you the basic gist of everything else.
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It didn't work; Birkin and I decided to collaborate rather than compete, and we finished what they set us to do well enough. But it was...stressful.
[...They very stupidly Power Of Friendship-ed their way through their superiors pushing them to fight, it was dumb but it worked.]
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...Is that too mean?]
You certainly did seem to care a lot about him, at least until you left.
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Of course I did.
[...Like it's really obvious? Why wouldn't he.]
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It's good that you had someone like that!
[...don't be a jealous bitch, don't be a jealous bitch...]
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[...You're kind of doing the flippant thing again. You tell him this sort of thing a lot with regards to people like Krauser, granted, but not usually this. cheerfully. um.]
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Ja, I'm fine! Why, does it seem like I'm not?
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It's really nothing bad. I'm just a bit jealous, I suppose! Even though there's nothing to be jealous of. It's really stupid.
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[...]
What, of Birkin?
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