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[scythegun]

GUNTHER SCHWARZ

Jaeger. Leviathan's Claw owner. Not particularly pleased to be here.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[scythegun]

[Siiiigh. Oh well, there's nothing he can do about it now. He just has to deal with the fact that he's no longer a stick.

Anyway, Jaeger picks up the briefcase and presses a button somewhere on it that transforms it into a massive scythe. The thing is bigger than he is, but he catches it easily after it transforms.]

And that's about the extent of what I can do with it! I've never seen anyone use a scythe before, so I certainly don't know how to create a training montage with it.

[thesettingsun]

[That is a bigass scythe, but that's not the reason Shuji's eyes go wide.]

You too? [He pauses, and then clarifies.] I haven't gotten a scythe back or anything, but I've remembered myself using one.

[scythegun]

Really? You know how to use one of these? I received this but I've never heard of anyone actually using one for combat...

[thesettingsun]

Hallucinomemory me does, I don't. Plus I'm pretty sure I couldn't even lift that.

[It's big and he is still a wimp.]

[scythegun]

I couldn't lift it at first either! Even now it's still far too unwieldy to actually use.

[He props it up so the blade is on the ground, facing away from them.]

It has other forms as well, I just thought the scythe was the most impressive-looking one.

[#aesthetic]

[thesettingsun]

...One of those forms isn't a book, is it?

[oh god are they canonmates]

[scythegun]

A book? Why would it be a book? No, the other forms are a crossbow, a sword, a massive rifle, and a shield. I doubt a book would be very practical.

[says the man holding a six and a half foot scythe]

[thesettingsun]

[Says the man who just admitted he can't actually use the scythe.]

Oh. Someone I remember seeing in my memories got back a book that turns into a rifle, so I thought maybe...

[scythegun]

My, that does sound interesting! But unless this thing has another form I'm not aware of, I doubt it was me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

[You probably don't want to be involved in his canon, just saying.]

[thesettingsun]

I don't have clue what's going on in my memories so I can't tell you if it's good you're not involved in them.

[Fighting monsters? At a high school??]

[scythegun]

Well, mine have been mostly dreadful so far so it's probably good that you're not involved with them!

[He's had some nice regains but out of context they're just sort of depressing.]

[thesettingsun]

Mine haven't been that great, either...

[Let's not talk about that, though.]

Anyway. I hear you have a training montage to fail at.

[scythegun]

The most I can really do is swing this around a bit, so you'll have to stand back!

[Once he's sure Shuji isn't going to get hit he'll start! It's literally just sort of swinging the scythe around like he has no idea what he's doing. He'll eventually transform it into the sword and swing that around too (still with no idea what he's doing) and then switch to the crossbow and the rifle and practice aiming both of those. The latter two look a bit more realistic, like maybe he held a gun once in his life and might know how to aim one. But really, this whole thing is pretty pathetic.]

And there we go! Training montage complete.

[did you even try, jaeger]

[thesettingsun]

[This is the most unenthusiastic clapping for the worst training montage Shuji's ever seen, not that he's seen many.]

Yaaaaay. Good job.

[scythegun]

[Jaeger takes a sweeping bow.]

You're too kind! I'll be here all week! And for the foreseeable future, since this is my shop.

[thesettingsun]

Don't quit your day job.

I'll let you know if I ever figure out how to use a scythe. They're not even supposed to be actual weapons in real life.

[scythegun]

They really aren't. They're for farming, aren't they? And whose bright idea was it to jam four weapons and a shield into a briefcase anyway?

[yours, probably]

[thesettingsun]

It's efficient, if nothing else. I wouldn't want to pack four weapons in my luggage separately, especially ones that big.

[You could barely fit one of them in your trunk.]

[scythegun]

Thankfully they all fold up neatly into the briefcase, but I don't want to think about how that's possible for too long.

[the less you think about it, the cooler it is, probably]

[thesettingsun]

It's bigger on the inside?

[He at least saw some episodes of Professor What.]

[scythegun]

Possibly? I have no idea how it works. I don't want to take it apart to find out either.

[thesettingsun]

You could. It's not as if you really need a giant rifle... right?

[what are you doing with your life, jaeger]

[scythegun]

Well of course I don't need it, but it's a magnificent piece! I'm very fond of it!

[he talks shit about it, sure, but it's his!!]

[thesettingsun]

I can't argue with that. You could put it on display - but then somebody will ask where you got it...

[That'd be an awkward question to answer, probably.]

[scythegun]

Precisely! I've been keeping it in the back room here since I'm not sure what else to do with it. Maybe I'll bring it back to my house...

[Now that he's strong enough to move it, anyway. Could he mount it over the fireplace?? Would that be too weird??]