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[scythegun]

GUNTHER SCHWARZ

Jaeger. Leviathan's Claw owner. Not particularly pleased to be here.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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Comments

[thesettingsun]

[This is the most unenthusiastic clapping for the worst training montage Shuji's ever seen, not that he's seen many.]

Yaaaaay. Good job.

[scythegun]

[Jaeger takes a sweeping bow.]

You're too kind! I'll be here all week! And for the foreseeable future, since this is my shop.

[thesettingsun]

Don't quit your day job.

I'll let you know if I ever figure out how to use a scythe. They're not even supposed to be actual weapons in real life.

[scythegun]

They really aren't. They're for farming, aren't they? And whose bright idea was it to jam four weapons and a shield into a briefcase anyway?

[yours, probably]

[thesettingsun]

It's efficient, if nothing else. I wouldn't want to pack four weapons in my luggage separately, especially ones that big.

[You could barely fit one of them in your trunk.]

[scythegun]

Thankfully they all fold up neatly into the briefcase, but I don't want to think about how that's possible for too long.

[the less you think about it, the cooler it is, probably]

[thesettingsun]

It's bigger on the inside?

[He at least saw some episodes of Professor What.]

[scythegun]

Possibly? I have no idea how it works. I don't want to take it apart to find out either.

[thesettingsun]

You could. It's not as if you really need a giant rifle... right?

[what are you doing with your life, jaeger]

[scythegun]

Well of course I don't need it, but it's a magnificent piece! I'm very fond of it!

[he talks shit about it, sure, but it's his!!]

[thesettingsun]

I can't argue with that. You could put it on display - but then somebody will ask where you got it...

[That'd be an awkward question to answer, probably.]

[scythegun]

Precisely! I've been keeping it in the back room here since I'm not sure what else to do with it. Maybe I'll bring it back to my house...

[Now that he's strong enough to move it, anyway. Could he mount it over the fireplace?? Would that be too weird??]

[thesettingsun]

If most of the people who visit you at your home are on Retrospec, you could probably put it up there. Even if not, less people ask questions about weird decorations at home than they do in a curiosity shop full of weird things you're supposed to ask about.

[scythegun]

Fair enough! I suppose I'll have to put it on display at home! I don't deal with many people who aren't involved in this Retrospec business, so that should work out just fine.

[thesettingsun]

You're lucky. If I got something like that I definitely wouldn't be able to explain it to my roommate.

[scythegun]

Is he another one forced to deal with Retrospec?

[thesettingsun]

Hasn't got a clue. Which would make it pretty awkward if I just walked in with a giant scythe and asked him where I could put it.

[scythegun]

Oh dear. I wonder how he'd react? You'll have to let me know if you ever do get a giant scythe!

[thesettingsun]

I will definitely keep you updated, if it doesn't end up on the news.

[RIP Shuji's NPC roommate.]

[scythegun]

Hah, let's hope it doesn't! Good luck!

[thesettingsun]

Thanks.

Need me to stick around and watch any more training montages?

[scythegun]

No, no, I believe we're good! Thank you for your time!

Of course, if you want to stick around and buy something...

[what, he's a salesman first and foremost]

[thesettingsun]

I think I'll pass, I'm probably going to empty my wallet when the con rolls around.

[More like definitely.]

So, take care.

[scythegun]

Can't fault me for trying!

[And he'll wave Shuji off!]