I don't know if I'd say it's a bit much for me or not. I dislike the idea of being toyed with by whomever is responsible for this, and I haven't received any memories yet that I've found to be at all acceptable or sane.
But just the same, I can't say that there isn't an element of curiosity to it as well. As long as I don't associate the actions of the person I'm recalling as being anything I've done, the entire thing is fascinating in an incredibly morbid sort of way.
It's just...difficult to continue disassociating the memories from myself, at times. That's where it becomes unpleasant.
[Unpleasant though it may be, however, the experience as a whole is...interesting, in a lot of ways, once he can take several steps back from it.
But then, Jaeger has also seen a fair amount of indications that Wesker isn't exactly a normal or reasonable person when it comes to things like this - the sort of person that walks toward something that may kill him as opposed to away. That...might have something to do with it, too.]
[It's not nearly as light and joking as it could have been, but he moves on quickly enough.]
I'll agree that it's fascinating, but I'm easily frustrated by not knowing why any of this is happening. There doesn't seem to be any significance behind what we receive either - I remembered a dog that carries a knife in its mouth, for instance. Why would I need to remember something like that? It almost feels like it's building up to something, and I'm not sure I want to know what it's building up to.
[His left hand rests on his chest as he speaks and when he notices it he takes another drink. Wesker's right: it really is difficult to disassociate from the memories.]
...At this point, I think not knowing would trouble me more. Despite the risks involved, whether it merely be disappointment or something more.
[...]
I'll agree that not all of the things we remember seem to hold particular significance, or are weighted similarly in terms of importance. I don't quite understand the meaning behind several of mine, either.
Such as...? Have you received anything quite as ridiculous as a dog with a knife? Because I still can't get over that one and I don't want to be alone.
[that's not even the worst part, he's an anime dog with a knife]
But you do know if you ever feel the need to talk about it, I'm always available to listen, ja? Unless it's after I've gone to bed, then I'll be a little angry!
[For a moment Jaeger looks serious; the usual smile is gone and he seems to be considering something important.]
...You're welcome. But don't forget this! If you keep it all bottled up inside and it explodes on the network someday then I have the right to say "I told you so"!
Most of the things I've remembered have just been strange, at any rate. Nothing alarming in the same way as the first one, though a few were equally as jarring out of context.
However, if we assume that these visions are of some sort of past life, I'm not certain why I got another attempt, because I have yet to witness any sort of redeeming qualities whatsoever out of the person I used to be.
[...That was a really straightforward and casual "yeah, I have no idea why I'm not in hell", uh.]
[That just sort of bursts out of him before he can stop it and he shakes his head once it's out there. No turning back now, it seems.]
You act like it doesn't bother you at all - and maybe it really doesn't - but how can something like that not trouble you on some level? That question to the network the other day was worrying too! Maybe you were a terrible person once, but who cares why you got a second chance? You did, and it's what you do with it that matters, ja?
[...Maybe he shouldn't have said all of that. That's getting far too serious and he doesn't do serious anymore. Jaeger looks temporarily conflicted, like he's genuinely not sure how to proceed.]
...Never mind. If you say you're fine, then you're fine - I do trust you on that.
[...You can't just say all that and then finish it with "Never mind," you know.
That said, he does hesitate for a moment before just...shaking his head a bit and trying not to stare.]
I...
[It...takes him a moment to work out what he wants to say; he tends to go quiet when it comes to things like this, they aren't things he likes to discuss, but- ]
...I have a tendency to be dismissive of things that others find upsetting. It's just how I tend to discuss things; it's easier that way, given that for a long time I wouldn't discuss anything at all.
But I'm genuinely not trying to be flippant about it, for what it's worth. It simply is what it is.
[Jaeger doesn't interrupt or try to push the silence, but he does try to find a comfortable position to sit in. In his esteemed opinion it takes Wesker far too long to find something to say.]
...Well, that's... You don't have to worry about upsetting me. I don't get upset!
[...jaeger what the fuck do you call this, then??]
I'm not saying you have to talk about it with me, but... But I suppose I am worried about you anyway when you talk like that. So...
[So? What's the point here? He usually has a point and right now he can't find one.]
Just remember that I don't mind dealing with all of this if it's coming from you. If it was anyone else I'd complain!
[...That said, this entire thing is striking him oddly, for some reason he can't really place.]
What I've been seeing is troubling, that much is true. But it isn't so much so that I...
[That he what? This is... He's quiet for a moment before starting again.]
...I'm not going to act on anything I see or experience, regardless of what sort of person I was, or I believe I do or don't deserve. While it's difficult to disassociate from all of it, I'm also aware that whatever I may recall has nothing to do with who I am now.
If your concern is there - and that's what it sounds like to me, that you think I'm going to do something to myself that will be regrettable later - then it's unfounded.
...Thank you. It's not as though I really thought you'd do anything stupid, but you can be very reckless sometimes.
["I don't want anything to happen to you" nearly leaves his mouth, but he's said plenty of genuine things today that he never really intended to say, so he'll stop himself now.]
...Goodness, that really wasn't like me at all. I do hope you won't hold it against me.
[...one of these days he's gonna have to tell him.]
We can blame the alcohol and pretend this never happened. Sound good?
[The expression he's managing isn't even one of his usual smiles, it's just shy of something genuine. This was a goddamn disaster, but he understands Wesker a bit better now.]
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But just the same, I can't say that there isn't an element of curiosity to it as well. As long as I don't associate the actions of the person I'm recalling as being anything I've done, the entire thing is fascinating in an incredibly morbid sort of way.
It's just...difficult to continue disassociating the memories from myself, at times. That's where it becomes unpleasant.
[Unpleasant though it may be, however, the experience as a whole is...interesting, in a lot of ways, once he can take several steps back from it.
But then, Jaeger has also seen a fair amount of indications that Wesker isn't exactly a normal or reasonable person when it comes to things like this - the sort of person that walks toward something that may kill him as opposed to away. That...might have something to do with it, too.]
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[It's not nearly as light and joking as it could have been, but he moves on quickly enough.]
I'll agree that it's fascinating, but I'm easily frustrated by not knowing why any of this is happening. There doesn't seem to be any significance behind what we receive either - I remembered a dog that carries a knife in its mouth, for instance. Why would I need to remember something like that? It almost feels like it's building up to something, and I'm not sure I want to know what it's building up to.
[His left hand rests on his chest as he speaks and when he notices it he takes another drink. Wesker's right: it really is difficult to disassociate from the memories.]
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[...]
I'll agree that not all of the things we remember seem to hold particular significance, or are weighted similarly in terms of importance. I don't quite understand the meaning behind several of mine, either.
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[that's not even the worst part, he's an anime dog with a knife]
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[Siiiigh.]
You still won't tell me anything you've remembered?
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[He'll just die of curiosity, it's fine!!]
But you do know if you ever feel the need to talk about it, I'm always available to listen, ja? Unless it's after I've gone to bed, then I'll be a little angry!
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[...]
Consider the gesture appreciated, however. And likewise, as always.
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...You're welcome. But don't forget this! If you keep it all bottled up inside and it explodes on the network someday then I have the right to say "I told you so"!
[oh my god jaeger]
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He noticed that pause, though he's not...entirely certain what to make of it; what the hell, sir.]
...You say that as though I have any interest in making a public spectacle of myself, anyway.
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[what pause, there wasn't a pause, shhh]
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You are aware that you have nothing to be concerned about, correct? It isn't as though what I've been seeing isn't manageable in and of itself.
[That's...the issue, isn't it, he's pretty sure that's the issue?]
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I'm not concerned. Really, I know you can handle yourself perfectly fine! Why would I be concerned?
[he is absolutely concerned okay]
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...You know that you're a bad actor when you're caught off-guard. Please tell me you know this.
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[...he walked riiiight into that one.]
Ugh, fine. I might be the tiniest bit concerned about you, maybe!
[HMPH.]
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[wesker, no.]
Most of the things I've remembered have just been strange, at any rate. Nothing alarming in the same way as the first one, though a few were equally as jarring out of context.
However, if we assume that these visions are of some sort of past life, I'm not certain why I got another attempt, because I have yet to witness any sort of redeeming qualities whatsoever out of the person I used to be.
[...That was a really straightforward and casual "yeah, I have no idea why I'm not in hell", uh.]
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See? Things like that are why I worry about you!
[That just sort of bursts out of him before he can stop it and he shakes his head once it's out there. No turning back now, it seems.]
You act like it doesn't bother you at all - and maybe it really doesn't - but how can something like that not trouble you on some level? That question to the network the other day was worrying too! Maybe you were a terrible person once, but who cares why you got a second chance? You did, and it's what you do with it that matters, ja?
[...Maybe he shouldn't have said all of that. That's getting far too serious and he doesn't do serious anymore. Jaeger looks temporarily conflicted, like he's genuinely not sure how to proceed.]
...Never mind. If you say you're fine, then you're fine - I do trust you on that.
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That said, he does hesitate for a moment before just...shaking his head a bit and trying not to stare.]
I...
[It...takes him a moment to work out what he wants to say; he tends to go quiet when it comes to things like this, they aren't things he likes to discuss, but- ]
...I have a tendency to be dismissive of things that others find upsetting. It's just how I tend to discuss things; it's easier that way, given that for a long time I wouldn't discuss anything at all.
But I'm genuinely not trying to be flippant about it, for what it's worth. It simply is what it is.
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...Well, that's... You don't have to worry about upsetting me. I don't get upset!
[...jaeger what the fuck do you call this, then??]
I'm not saying you have to talk about it with me, but... But I suppose I am worried about you anyway when you talk like that. So...
[So? What's the point here? He usually has a point and right now he can't find one.]
Just remember that I don't mind dealing with all of this if it's coming from you. If it was anyone else I'd complain!
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[...That said, this entire thing is striking him oddly, for some reason he can't really place.]
What I've been seeing is troubling, that much is true. But it isn't so much so that I...
[That he what? This is... He's quiet for a moment before starting again.]
...I'm not going to act on anything I see or experience, regardless of what sort of person I was, or I believe I do or don't deserve. While it's difficult to disassociate from all of it, I'm also aware that whatever I may recall has nothing to do with who I am now.
If your concern is there - and that's what it sounds like to me, that you think I'm going to do something to myself that will be regrettable later - then it's unfounded.
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...Thank you. It's not as though I really thought you'd do anything stupid, but you can be very reckless sometimes.
["I don't want anything to happen to you" nearly leaves his mouth, but he's said plenty of genuine things today that he never really intended to say, so he'll stop himself now.]
...Goodness, that really wasn't like me at all. I do hope you won't hold it against me.
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[...oh my god, who's gonna tell him someday.]
...Either way, however. I won't hold it against you if you do likewise - this isn't exactly my finest hour, either.
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We can blame the alcohol and pretend this never happened. Sound good?
[The expression he's managing isn't even one of his usual smiles, it's just shy of something genuine. This was a goddamn disaster, but he understands Wesker a bit better now.]
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[God, this was a shitshow.]
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