It's good to know that things have been going well. The memories have been picking up again in terms of frequency, but we'll see if that holds beyond the next few days.
Either the laws of thermodynamics are completely different where I came from, or I'm unable to be immediately killed by physical contact with lava. Incidentally.
We fought for a while longer, after the...boulder-punching incident. Uroboros' power was absolutely fascinating - it greatly enhanced my physical strength, among other things, and the amount of control I had over it was impressive. I could make it do almost anything I wanted...
[His hands shift while he talks, the motion unconscious; his fingers are moving a bit, as though manipulating something between them.
It's...unbelievably obvious from his tone that the power was very, very enjoyable.]
I nearly killed both of them; Chris grabbed me before I could finish his friend off. He...jumped on me, putting all his weight on my back to try to subdue me for a moment, and his friend took the opportunity to destroy one of the cores Uroboros had set into my body and puncture my heart multiple times in the process.
I threw Chris off, but he jumped on me again before I could recover. I'm not certain what he did to me; it felt as though my heart simply exploded in response to it.
It didn't kill me, so I doubt that was the case. But that was the sensation that came with it, and there was blood everywhere, I could see it leave my body.
[...So Chris at the very least completely wrecked his heart somehow, probably.]
I...fell, then, due to my injuries and the unstable ground we were standing on. Into the lava flow. It didn't hurt, but I'm not surprised at that, I imagine my nerves died immediately - there was just a strong shock to my system, and I think my body reacted involuntarily to it, but I don't remember being actually aware of the pain.
Chris and his friend lived, somehow. I think there was a helicopter that was there to save them...? And Jill was there...
[...He thinks Jill was there? He doesn't remember very well, but that seems right; on the other hand, his mind has made up people at the general time of his death before - he remembers seeing Birkin twice, after all, when he can't possibly have been there either time. So maybe Jill was there. Maybe she wasn't.]
...I tried to stop them, I believe. I don't remember deciding to do that, but I used Uroboros to try to kill them. They shot at me with high-powered weapons, and I think that took my head off - it was too fast for me to really know what happened for sure. But I was there, and I saw them shoot, and then there wasn't anything anymore.
[Should he be worried about the way Wesker's talking about Uroboros? It certainly looks like it was something he really enjoyed... But then again, Jaeger really enjoys his newfound abilities so it's probably normal, right? Right.
It's a bit jarring to hear Wesker talk so calmly about dying, but it's something he had already assumed had happened so Jaeger supposes that's normal too. Wesker's said numerous times that his past self needed to be put out of his misery, after all.]
...I see. That sounds like an incredible battle. I'm not sure how they survived that, but... I suppose that's the end, then.
[He's not really sure what to do with it, honestly.]
To be honest, I really don't know how to feel about it. I can see where you would see it as necessary... but I have a hard time with it. Perhaps it's because it's another version of you and I can never apply that line of thought to you.
[He shrugs a bit after a moment.]
I'm not very good at explaining it. It's complicated.
I don't think that such a thing is necessary now. Whether I deserve it or not is another matter - even if it's deserved, I won't say that I need to die, because there's a difference.
[His voice is still even, calm as he considers it; it is a complicated thing, overall.]
By that point, I was both obscenely poisoned and heavily infected with something that was probably going to kill me. The only thing I cared about was killing as many people as I could...or, if I was going to die anyway, bringing as many down with me as possible. Even if I had defeated Chris and his friend, I wouldn't have been myself anymore before long - whether it was physically, mentally or both.
I didn't have anything left, Jaeger. There was nothing there that I could even start to salvage on my own, and I didn't have anyone to pull me back. Even if there was someone left to help me, I wouldn't have wanted it. Saying that I gave up isn't quite right, but it's the closest sentiment to it that I have - I put everything on Uroboros, and when that failed me there was nothing left.
[He sort of wants to hug Wesker? Though he's sure it wouldn't be appreciated, so he stays where he is.]
I'm sorry to hear that, but I think I understand now. It really doesn't sound like there was anywhere else for you to go after all of that, so...
[He still doesn't want to say it, though. Maybe he really did need to be put out of his misery, but it feels weird to think that about Wesker, even if it was his past life where he was a terrible person.]
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[wesker.]
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[clearly, it's a good ego day.]
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[good...lord.]
It's good to know that things have been going well. The memories have been picking up again in terms of frequency, but we'll see if that holds beyond the next few days.
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Let me know what you remember, ja?
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[At least he doesn't sound troubled by it.]
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What happened? Was it that battle with Chris in the volcano?
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[...]
Either the laws of thermodynamics are completely different where I came from, or I'm unable to be immediately killed by physical contact with lava. Incidentally.
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Well, I suppose that's good to know... In case it ever comes up...
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[wesker...]
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At least you know, now...? What happened, exactly?
[why are you like this.]
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[His hands shift while he talks, the motion unconscious; his fingers are moving a bit, as though manipulating something between them.
It's...unbelievably obvious from his tone that the power was very, very enjoyable.]
I nearly killed both of them; Chris grabbed me before I could finish his friend off. He...jumped on me, putting all his weight on my back to try to subdue me for a moment, and his friend took the opportunity to destroy one of the cores Uroboros had set into my body and puncture my heart multiple times in the process.
I threw Chris off, but he jumped on me again before I could recover. I'm not certain what he did to me; it felt as though my heart simply exploded in response to it.
It didn't kill me, so I doubt that was the case. But that was the sensation that came with it, and there was blood everywhere, I could see it leave my body.
[...So Chris at the very least completely wrecked his heart somehow, probably.]
I...fell, then, due to my injuries and the unstable ground we were standing on. Into the lava flow. It didn't hurt, but I'm not surprised at that, I imagine my nerves died immediately - there was just a strong shock to my system, and I think my body reacted involuntarily to it, but I don't remember being actually aware of the pain.
Chris and his friend lived, somehow. I think there was a helicopter that was there to save them...? And Jill was there...
[...He thinks Jill was there? He doesn't remember very well, but that seems right; on the other hand, his mind has made up people at the general time of his death before - he remembers seeing Birkin twice, after all, when he can't possibly have been there either time. So maybe Jill was there. Maybe she wasn't.]
...I tried to stop them, I believe. I don't remember deciding to do that, but I used Uroboros to try to kill them. They shot at me with high-powered weapons, and I think that took my head off - it was too fast for me to really know what happened for sure. But I was there, and I saw them shoot, and then there wasn't anything anymore.
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It's a bit jarring to hear Wesker talk so calmly about dying, but it's something he had already assumed had happened so Jaeger supposes that's normal too. Wesker's said numerous times that his past self needed to be put out of his misery, after all.]
...I see. That sounds like an incredible battle. I'm not sure how they survived that, but... I suppose that's the end, then.
[He's not really sure what to do with it, honestly.]
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[...]
Are you all right?
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[He's quiet for a moment. Just...thinking, that's all.
God.]
...I needed to die at that point.
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[After everything he did and tried to do... Yes, he can see why Wesker would think that.]
At least now you know how things end...?
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[Jaeger...]
You sound as though you don't agree with that, though. Whether it was necessary or not.
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[He shrugs a bit after a moment.]
I'm not very good at explaining it. It's complicated.
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[His voice is still even, calm as he considers it; it is a complicated thing, overall.]
By that point, I was both obscenely poisoned and heavily infected with something that was probably going to kill me. The only thing I cared about was killing as many people as I could...or, if I was going to die anyway, bringing as many down with me as possible. Even if I had defeated Chris and his friend, I wouldn't have been myself anymore before long - whether it was physically, mentally or both.
I didn't have anything left, Jaeger. There was nothing there that I could even start to salvage on my own, and I didn't have anyone to pull me back. Even if there was someone left to help me, I wouldn't have wanted it. Saying that I gave up isn't quite right, but it's the closest sentiment to it that I have - I put everything on Uroboros, and when that failed me there was nothing left.
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[He sort of wants to hug Wesker? Though he's sure it wouldn't be appreciated, so he stays where he is.]
I'm sorry to hear that, but I think I understand now. It really doesn't sound like there was anywhere else for you to go after all of that, so...
[He still doesn't want to say it, though. Maybe he really did need to be put out of his misery, but it feels weird to think that about Wesker, even if it was his past life where he was a terrible person.]
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[And he does sound pleased with that in some way, albeit vaguely and quietly so.]
I may not always agree with Retrospec's decision to give me a second chance. But it's worth it to have you now.
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