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week 6; thursday
[Watching movies with Top Dollar is always an enjoyable experience (especially when they're Die Hard and the villain is basically Yeager) but there's actually a damn good reason behind movie night tonight, mostly in the form of a note Yeager passed Top Dollar about ten minutes before the end of the movie.
Our gunners are Yukino and Yuri. I've spoken with both of them and confirmed it. Yukino believes there may be a third one.
He's certainly not going to draw any attention to that note or what was written there, but once the movie's over he doesn't seem interested in leaving immediately.]
You certainly do have amazing taste in entertainment! I'm a bit disappointed we don't have anything so wonderful back home!
Our gunners are Yukino and Yuri. I've spoken with both of them and confirmed it. Yukino believes there may be a third one.
He's certainly not going to draw any attention to that note or what was written there, but once the movie's over he doesn't seem interested in leaving immediately.]
You certainly do have amazing taste in entertainment! I'm a bit disappointed we don't have anything so wonderful back home!
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[...that ring he's been wearing on the cord since christmas and generally doesn't take off is eric's goddamn wedding ring]
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You know, I was fine with this comparison until that happened. I'm not sure if you're really into this man or not.
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[...]
No. Hell did you get that idea?
[i mean like
wearing the guy's wedding ring and telling him he's the only thing that's made him feel alive in years is one thing
actually being interested is sort of ew]
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[...this does explain it, right? He's not crazy, right???]
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[Said with all the confidence in the goddamn world, uh. That aside - ]
Doesn't mean I'm into the guy, though. And I can't think of a single goddamn way to explain why he's appreciated without making it sound like I am, but trust me, there's a difference.
[...And the usual bluntness is back, doing him no favors.]
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[HE'S DEFINITELY NOT INTO YURI]
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If it's the former then I'm glad to hear it, friend, because being interested in people like that is a little fucked up.
[.............
does he just. not understand irony. or does he just not care.]
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Definitely the former, but I only appreciate what he can do for me!
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[...]
Anyway, this has gotten both kinda unholy and boring as fuck. Not too sure I'm here for it.
[ohhhhhhh my god]
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I'm not sure it can be both at the same time, but thank you.
[maybe one day he will be used to this...............]
Well, it is Thursday night, maybe I should head back to my room and hope I don't get murdered on the way there!
[OH MY GOD]
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[...]
You know, all goddamn twenty feet away?
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Well, at that point, I'd absolutely deserve it!
[While he's speaking he pulls some paper and a pen from his pocket (because he's just carrying this around now) and starts writing.]
I'll try really hard not to die on you, ja?
[Here you go!!
I communicated with Hazama earlier with the lights in the laser tag control room.
Kiiiinda important to mention that.]
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estelle and kevin and victor arseid all in the bar
crow and rean were with me
showed us where to find a disc like the ones the movies are on that had a news broadcast none of us understood on it
also a few other discs for some reason
they played some songs for us on the jukebox also
after that showed us letters - EBKGVSA - to let us know who they were]
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That's very interesting though and he tips his head a bit at that as he considers it. So we're being haunted by dead people we kind of sort of have feelings about. Great. Wonderful.
Keep those discs safe. Maybe someone will recognize whatever's on them? We should keep an eye out for any more hauntings!]
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hate to say it but shithead prosecutor may be our best bet for understanding the news broadcast
i'll keep an eye out for other things though, yeah
... ... ...
kinda good to hear from kevin again]
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It was good to hear from Hazama again too. I'm sure this won't be the last time we communicate with them.]
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... ... ...
i'm all right with what
happenedi did to kevinshit needed to happen and i don't regret it
but it was good to hear from him anyway, is that fucked up or what
... ... ...
christ you don't need to hear this shit
read this shit, whatever
nevermind]
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I think I understand, at least a little bit. I agree that it needed to happen and I'm pleased that he's dead, but I understand feeling a little strange about it afterwards. I felt the same way after I conspired to get Don Whitehorse killed.
We don't have to talk about it, but if you ever need someone to listen I'll be here.]
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i'm used to not giving a fuck about anyone and not having anyone give a fuck about me and i'm okay with that usually, i talked to kevin once after one of his funerals that he did because i started showing up to those and i had to tell him that i didn't know why i was there or what i was even supposed to be doing
because people like me and my guys don't get funerals, we die and no one cares, it's just a fact of life and kevin tried to make not knowing what to do like that seem like it's not a fucked up thing but it got really obvious really fast that i do not know how to mourn people at all
so i'm not fucked up over him dying either but it's weird because i don't know what i want to do about it if anything, i just feel like i should be doing something that isn't this, is that what giving a fuck feels like]
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I'm sure it's difficult to deal with that right now, especially after what you did. I wish I had some sort of advice for you, but I'm the last person you'd want to take it from! I've spent the past ten years ignoring my feelings and I never gave myself any time to properly mourn anyone. The first time I tried was with Whitehorse and even that was awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. (Yuri was also there, so that might be why.)
I don't know if you'll find any way to deal with any of this. You might not. But I think it's okay if you can't figure out what you want to do. Kevin died this week and even though that's become normal here, it certainly wouldn't be otherwise. Mourning is a process, it takes time to sort through everything, even for perfectly normal people.]
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i get where this makes me asshole of the year, but i figured that you'd be okay if anything happened to me here because of that sort of thing
that maybe you'd just be kind of pissed for a while at the most and then move on because that's just how things work
it wasn't all because of how you act about things like that, though that was most of it - it's hard to know when you actually mean what you say and i just figured that i was convenient for you or something and after all of this was over that would be it, no actual fucks given
i'm also used to that kind of thing being the case, people just moving on from shit
... ... ...
i think part of it is that t-bird was kind of like that, he'd come to me if his guys died and he'd be pissed off about it and sometimes he'd talk to me about it if i wasn't busy with something else, but he'd always get over it and just go back to doing what he always did
and like i said i get that this sort of thing probably makes me asshole of the year but it didn't really occur to me that he probably did that because i'd give him something to do or i'd tell him i'd fix it and i'd make sure that whoever fucked with him disappeared within the next couple of days
i just kind of figured that's something that certain people do in general because
because i don't know why, i'm a fucking idiot about this kind of thing i guess
so i don't know, i thought you'd be fine? both because i figured you didn't actually give a fuck and even if you did people get over things really quick in my experience so yeah]
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