[ this is the weirdest bonding field trip in the fucking world, man. ]
Welllll, Hellsalem's Lot totally is! But, like, the Beyond? Not... always? [ Hmmmmm~~~ ] Like, this is totally what everything look liked when that big collapse thing happened~ and it's what everything looks like closer to the huma world when you get outta the big tunnel that connects our world with theirs.
[ She's motioning with her hands as she talks, which is probably lost on him considering they're... supposed to... look for stuff??? ]
It's all rubble and flying buildings and fog. [ SO MUCH FOG, YEAGER. i myself was reminded of how fucking foggy it is in the beyond on a recent canon review. ] It's kinda that way until you hit a city or big group of Beyondian stuff too.
Well, [ let her correct herself, ] the fog's always there, but like, it's not all desolate and boooooooring like here.
Fascinating... It sounds nothing like anything I've seen back home.
[...well, caer bocram is desolate and foggy but it's not boring! umbrella monsters attack you there and you have to use teleporters, it's stupid, don't go there.]
Do you prefer it here? Well, not here obviously, but Verens?
[He can't imagine Aligula getting homesick. That would be so weird??]
[ ...so she's not homesick because she hasn't considered being homesick. ]
But, like, that's totally like asking me if I like chocolates or flowers better! They're both good gifts, but they're totally incomparable, right? [ yeah sure. ] Obviously I'm gonna have a lot of good points for chocolate, like how it's totally edible and totally the best thing ever, but flowers have good points too! Like smelling nice and looking nice and being totally that kind of gift you have to put a lot of thought into.
[...You know, that is completely legit and it's a damn shame he didn't try that before having some Issues.]
Well, you certainly have a point there! Though I'd imagine you would have at least a slight preference one way or another, at least about the flowers and chocolate!
[Oh hey, is that a shard over there?? That totally looks like one!! Yep, definitely an Interesting Thing that he can focus on for a moment because that just kind of hit him in ways that it really shouldn't have?? Honestly, he needs to get some kind of handle on his emotions.
The temperature has sharply dropped to the point of icing some of the grass around Yeager before he manages to get some kind of control over himself.
(That was not a shard, by the way. It was a shiny rock. It's not even a pretty shiny rock.)]
Well, I'd imagine it would be! When do you think your boyfriend will propose?
[And just like that everything's back to the normal, apathetic void. It seems stronger than usual, though.]
[ That sure is some strong Not Feeling Anything At All, Fuck Yourself Emotions World there, huh. Aligula hops over to him, frowning at the dumb shiny rock, before she moves onto... climbing onto a crumbly wall to kind of survey the area. ]
We've gotta, like, reconnect and stuff first, and then he'll totally propose. [ ... ] Sooooooooo, is there anything in that briefcase other than, like, your emotional baggage?
[ so, real question: why doesn't yeager hang out with anyone who knows what the fuck "tact" is. ]
[...Okay, on the one hand he could acknowledge that and possibly deal with his emotional baggage...
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HE COULD TALK ABOUT HIS WEAPON so it's a good thing you're up there and he can transform it with no problems. It goes from a briefcase to six and a half feet of scythe somehow. Don't ask question.]
It's my weapon! It was custom made and can take on six different forms, though obviously the briefcase is just for easy transportation. I never go anywhere without it; it wouldn't do to be caught unawares, ja?
...I wouldn't quite put it in those terms... Someone broke into my house and tried to kill me, I think I'm justified in carrying a weapon on me at all times!
[YOU INTENTIONALLY PLOTTED TO GET HIM KILLED, TRAUMATIZED HIS GRANDSON IN THE PROCESS, NEARLY STARTED A WAR, AND DID ALL OF THIS BECAUSE ???? YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU GET]
It is though, isn't it? I'm very pleased with the design!
[And to demonstrate, he transforms it into the rifle form. Which is six and a half feet of fucking gun. No one needs a gun that big, that's just stupid.]
Talk about overcompensation! [ she sounds sort of impressed at least?? like, genuinely so. ...it isn't clear if she's impressed at his gun or at overcompensation, but uh, anyway.
in manifests mainly in the form of a faint glow; fairly standard, but it'd probably be brighter on anyone whose emotions weren't shallow as fuck when they actually are a thing. ] What's next, a bug net? A sword? A really big spiral-thingy like on those army knives from Swatcherland or whatever that country's called?
[He transforms it again, this time into a relatively sane-looking sword. It's not giant, anyway, just large enough that it should probably be used with two hands instead of how casually Yeager's holding it.]
It does have a sword form! And a shield...
[He transforms it to that. It's actually around the size of the briefcase, it's fairly tiny.]
And a crossbow...
[Which is about the size of his forearm, so it's also kinda small??]
And a scythe!
[WHICH IS SIX AND A HALF FEET OF SCYTHE JESUS CHRIST]
It's a very wonderful weapon!
[He's switched between them all very easily and he's carrying that scythe like it weighs nothing but they all have to weigh the same this weapon is so stupid and i hate it.]
Of course I am! It's important to always be prepared!
[TO BE ATTACKED BY SOMETHING REQUIRING GIANT WEAPONS I GUESS???]
Ah, the transformation is entirely mechanical...
[don't fucking ask me this is never explained but boy does yeager know how this works!! you can interrupt him at any point, he will just happily explain exactly how this wonderful weapon of his works otherwise. i'm sorry, he's a nerd.]
hi redd i promise i didn't forget you i've just been having a time
[ holy shit she... .... .......i hate this she would probably be interested in this because she probably makes all her own fucking gizmos SO THIS IS LEGITIMATELY AN INTERESTING THING!!!!! WHY.
by the end of it she's like, gotten off her dumb wall. do you know how much she scouted? literally nothing. don't let aligula do anything. ]
I'm totally gonna have to make one of those! But, like, probably not with weapons. [ Hmmmmm. ] I'm nooot really, like, a fighty-person? I'm a spectatory person!
[ like she will get mad and punch people and also chase her sweetheart to the ends of the earth but by god, ask her to legitimately fight someone and get ready to get told off. ]
I'd be very interested in seeing what you create! Though if you are interested in trying to create a weapon I certainly wouldn't mind testing it out for you! I'm a spectatory type as well, you know, so I like to think I can put on a good show!
[MAKE HIM STUFF ALIGULA, COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO]
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no subject
Welllll, Hellsalem's Lot totally is! But, like, the Beyond? Not... always? [ Hmmmmm~~~ ] Like, this is totally what everything look liked when that big collapse thing happened~ and it's what everything looks like closer to the huma world when you get outta the big tunnel that connects our world with theirs.
[ She's motioning with her hands as she talks, which is probably lost on him considering they're... supposed to... look for stuff??? ]
It's all rubble and flying buildings and fog. [ SO MUCH FOG, YEAGER. i myself was reminded of how fucking foggy it is in the beyond on a recent canon review. ] It's kinda that way until you hit a city or big group of Beyondian stuff too.
Well, [ let her correct herself, ] the fog's always there, but like, it's not all desolate and boooooooring like here.
no subject
[...well, caer bocram is desolate and foggy but it's not boring! umbrella monsters attack you there and you have to use teleporters, it's stupid, don't go there.]
Do you prefer it here? Well, not here obviously, but Verens?
[He can't imagine Aligula getting homesick. That would be so weird??]
no subject
[ ...so she's not homesick because she hasn't considered being homesick. ]
But, like, that's totally like asking me if I like chocolates or flowers better! They're both good gifts, but they're totally incomparable, right? [ yeah sure. ] Obviously I'm gonna have a lot of good points for chocolate, like how it's totally edible and totally the best thing ever, but flowers have good points too! Like smelling nice and looking nice and being totally that kind of gift you have to put a lot of thought into.
no subject
Well, you certainly have a point there! Though I'd imagine you would have at least a slight preference one way or another, at least about the flowers and chocolate!
no subject
The only preference I got is that I'd rather have a ring than either of those things, if you know what I mean. [ ...she means a wedding ring
probably.
..............probably. ]
no subject
The temperature has sharply dropped to the point of icing some of the grass around Yeager before he manages to get some kind of control over himself.
(That was not a shard, by the way. It was a shiny rock. It's not even a pretty shiny rock.)]
Well, I'd imagine it would be! When do you think your boyfriend will propose?
[And just like that everything's back to the normal, apathetic void. It seems stronger than usual, though.]
no subject
...Eventually.
[ That sure is some strong Not Feeling Anything At All, Fuck Yourself Emotions World there, huh. Aligula hops over to him, frowning at the dumb shiny rock, before she moves onto... climbing onto a crumbly wall to kind of survey the area. ]
We've gotta, like, reconnect and stuff first, and then he'll totally propose. [ ... ] Sooooooooo, is there anything in that briefcase other than, like, your emotional baggage?
[ so, real question: why doesn't yeager hang out with anyone who knows what the fuck "tact" is. ]
no subject
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HE COULD TALK ABOUT HIS WEAPON so it's a good thing you're up there and he can transform it with no problems. It goes from a briefcase to six and a half feet of scythe somehow. Don't ask question.]
It's my weapon! It was custom made and can take on six different forms, though obviously the briefcase is just for easy transportation. I never go anywhere without it; it wouldn't do to be caught unawares, ja?
no subject
Ohhh, I get it. It's like, a super extra safety blanket! Like what kids have when they're nervous and anxious and weird about everything.
[ I... I'M SO SORRY?? ]
At least it's totally cool-looking!
no subject
[YOU INTENTIONALLY PLOTTED TO GET HIM KILLED, TRAUMATIZED HIS GRANDSON IN THE PROCESS, NEARLY STARTED A WAR, AND DID ALL OF THIS BECAUSE ???? YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU GET]
It is though, isn't it? I'm very pleased with the design!
[And to demonstrate, he transforms it into the rifle form. Which is six and a half feet of fucking gun. No one needs a gun that big, that's just stupid.]
no subject
Talk about overcompensation! [ she sounds sort of impressed at least?? like, genuinely so. ...it isn't clear if she's impressed at his gun or at overcompensation, but uh, anyway.
in manifests mainly in the form of a faint glow; fairly standard, but it'd probably be brighter on anyone whose emotions weren't shallow as fuck when they actually are a thing. ] What's next, a bug net? A sword? A really big spiral-thingy like on those army knives from Swatcherland or whatever that country's called?
no subject
[He transforms it again, this time into a relatively sane-looking sword. It's not giant, anyway, just large enough that it should probably be used with two hands instead of how casually Yeager's holding it.]
It does have a sword form! And a shield...
[He transforms it to that. It's actually around the size of the briefcase, it's fairly tiny.]
And a crossbow...
[Which is about the size of his forearm, so it's also kinda small??]
And a scythe!
[WHICH IS SIX AND A HALF FEET OF SCYTHE JESUS CHRIST]
It's a very wonderful weapon!
[He's switched between them all very easily and he's carrying that scythe like it weighs nothing but they all have to weigh the same this weapon is so stupid and i hate it.]
no subject
You really are, like, overly prepared. [ better to be over-prepared than not though??? she guesses?????? ] How's it do all of that?
[ how does it. transform. into all of that. ]
no subject
[TO BE ATTACKED BY SOMETHING REQUIRING GIANT WEAPONS I GUESS???]
Ah, the transformation is entirely mechanical...
[don't fucking ask me this is never explained but boy does yeager know how this works!! you can interrupt him at any point, he will just happily explain exactly how this wonderful weapon of his works otherwise. i'm sorry, he's a nerd.]
hi redd i promise i didn't forget you i've just been having a time
by the end of it she's like, gotten off her dumb wall. do you know how much she scouted? literally nothing. don't let aligula do anything. ]
I'm totally gonna have to make one of those! But, like, probably not with weapons. [ Hmmmmm. ] I'm nooot really, like, a fighty-person? I'm a spectatory person!
[ like she will get mad and punch people and also chase her sweetheart to the ends of the earth but by god, ask her to legitimately fight someone and get ready to get told off. ]
it's okay!! i've been hella sick so i feel ya
[MAKE HIM STUFF ALIGULA, COME ON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO]