[ ...SHE IS JUST GOING TO TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT NO QUESTION, THANK YOU. ]
By asking the nobody that's up there [ a grand wave upwards ] if they're mocking him! I'm super unsurprised his experience with love is, like, probably as abysmal as yours is.
[ oh my god aligula you can't just say that??? ]
He said he didn't know if he'd ever been in love—like, how do you not know, it's totally frickin' obvious?—and said he had "special circumstances" because his girlfriend was a sylph who, like, lived on another plane of existence or whatever.
[ |T |T |T |T ]
You shouldn't even date someone if you don't know you're in love with them! It's a total waste of time otherwise! That energy could be used to, liiiiiiike, find your soulmate or something instead! Aren't I right?
[HEY DON'T BE RUDE— actually nah his love life is pretty fucking bad since he still has hang-ups from ten years ago, uh.]
...That raises many questions, but I absolutely agree with you. If you aren't sure you have feelings for them, why bother? That will only come back to bite you in the end.
[Probably in the form of a vengeful ex-girlfriend!!]
I'm still dating my sweetheart even though he's totally not here, right?
[ ...............are you, though. ]
Distance, like age, totally doesn't matter in love! As long as you doooo love that person, with all your heart and soul and body~ [ you are probably not the person to talk about this consider what you dID TO YOUR BOYFRIEND, but okay. ] Be-siiiiiiides, if you find love here... or if anyone else does... then when we all go home, it'll be the same kinda concept, right? A long-distance relationship for the ages! A long-dimensional relationship!
Hmmm, I guess sooooooo... Juuust a little. [ just a bit. ] Maybe I'll work on making a way to like, I dunno, supercharge people's memories so they'll never forget anything ever? That sounds fun.
[ actually that sounds like a shitshow waiting to happen but okay. ]
And then you'd never forget to add things to your bucket list. [ oh my god.
anyway timeskip 2 thera, this place is still as dusty and awful as it used to be. atmosphere feels sorta lighter though. thanks otherworlders. you kinda did okay here. it isn't a completely depressing place anymore, it's just sort of depressing.
i mean aligula still hates it, but like. she's just gonna kick some rocks and turn to yeager with a siiiiiigh. ]
This place totally reminds me of home. [ .....UH. ] Where's the best emotion shard thingies? They've gotta be small.
Sort of depressing is fine, he can totally handle that. It's kind of weirdly nice here, actually? The solitude is comforting in a way. His grip is a bit tighter on his briefcase, though he's not really expecting anything to jump out at them.]
Does it remind you of home? Goodness, I thought you came from a world as lively and vibrant as you!
[...good question about the emotion shards, uh. LET'S. LOOK AROUND while we talk about your home or something...??]
[ this is the weirdest bonding field trip in the fucking world, man. ]
Welllll, Hellsalem's Lot totally is! But, like, the Beyond? Not... always? [ Hmmmmm~~~ ] Like, this is totally what everything look liked when that big collapse thing happened~ and it's what everything looks like closer to the huma world when you get outta the big tunnel that connects our world with theirs.
[ She's motioning with her hands as she talks, which is probably lost on him considering they're... supposed to... look for stuff??? ]
It's all rubble and flying buildings and fog. [ SO MUCH FOG, YEAGER. i myself was reminded of how fucking foggy it is in the beyond on a recent canon review. ] It's kinda that way until you hit a city or big group of Beyondian stuff too.
Well, [ let her correct herself, ] the fog's always there, but like, it's not all desolate and boooooooring like here.
Fascinating... It sounds nothing like anything I've seen back home.
[...well, caer bocram is desolate and foggy but it's not boring! umbrella monsters attack you there and you have to use teleporters, it's stupid, don't go there.]
Do you prefer it here? Well, not here obviously, but Verens?
[He can't imagine Aligula getting homesick. That would be so weird??]
[ ...so she's not homesick because she hasn't considered being homesick. ]
But, like, that's totally like asking me if I like chocolates or flowers better! They're both good gifts, but they're totally incomparable, right? [ yeah sure. ] Obviously I'm gonna have a lot of good points for chocolate, like how it's totally edible and totally the best thing ever, but flowers have good points too! Like smelling nice and looking nice and being totally that kind of gift you have to put a lot of thought into.
[...You know, that is completely legit and it's a damn shame he didn't try that before having some Issues.]
Well, you certainly have a point there! Though I'd imagine you would have at least a slight preference one way or another, at least about the flowers and chocolate!
[Oh hey, is that a shard over there?? That totally looks like one!! Yep, definitely an Interesting Thing that he can focus on for a moment because that just kind of hit him in ways that it really shouldn't have?? Honestly, he needs to get some kind of handle on his emotions.
The temperature has sharply dropped to the point of icing some of the grass around Yeager before he manages to get some kind of control over himself.
(That was not a shard, by the way. It was a shiny rock. It's not even a pretty shiny rock.)]
Well, I'd imagine it would be! When do you think your boyfriend will propose?
[And just like that everything's back to the normal, apathetic void. It seems stronger than usual, though.]
[ That sure is some strong Not Feeling Anything At All, Fuck Yourself Emotions World there, huh. Aligula hops over to him, frowning at the dumb shiny rock, before she moves onto... climbing onto a crumbly wall to kind of survey the area. ]
We've gotta, like, reconnect and stuff first, and then he'll totally propose. [ ... ] Sooooooooo, is there anything in that briefcase other than, like, your emotional baggage?
[ so, real question: why doesn't yeager hang out with anyone who knows what the fuck "tact" is. ]
[...Okay, on the one hand he could acknowledge that and possibly deal with his emotional baggage...
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HE COULD TALK ABOUT HIS WEAPON so it's a good thing you're up there and he can transform it with no problems. It goes from a briefcase to six and a half feet of scythe somehow. Don't ask question.]
It's my weapon! It was custom made and can take on six different forms, though obviously the briefcase is just for easy transportation. I never go anywhere without it; it wouldn't do to be caught unawares, ja?
...I wouldn't quite put it in those terms... Someone broke into my house and tried to kill me, I think I'm justified in carrying a weapon on me at all times!
[YOU INTENTIONALLY PLOTTED TO GET HIM KILLED, TRAUMATIZED HIS GRANDSON IN THE PROCESS, NEARLY STARTED A WAR, AND DID ALL OF THIS BECAUSE ???? YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU GET]
It is though, isn't it? I'm very pleased with the design!
[And to demonstrate, he transforms it into the rifle form. Which is six and a half feet of fucking gun. No one needs a gun that big, that's just stupid.]
Talk about overcompensation! [ she sounds sort of impressed at least?? like, genuinely so. ...it isn't clear if she's impressed at his gun or at overcompensation, but uh, anyway.
in manifests mainly in the form of a faint glow; fairly standard, but it'd probably be brighter on anyone whose emotions weren't shallow as fuck when they actually are a thing. ] What's next, a bug net? A sword? A really big spiral-thingy like on those army knives from Swatcherland or whatever that country's called?
[He transforms it again, this time into a relatively sane-looking sword. It's not giant, anyway, just large enough that it should probably be used with two hands instead of how casually Yeager's holding it.]
It does have a sword form! And a shield...
[He transforms it to that. It's actually around the size of the briefcase, it's fairly tiny.]
And a crossbow...
[Which is about the size of his forearm, so it's also kinda small??]
And a scythe!
[WHICH IS SIX AND A HALF FEET OF SCYTHE JESUS CHRIST]
It's a very wonderful weapon!
[He's switched between them all very easily and he's carrying that scythe like it weighs nothing but they all have to weigh the same this weapon is so stupid and i hate it.]
Of course I am! It's important to always be prepared!
[TO BE ATTACKED BY SOMETHING REQUIRING GIANT WEAPONS I GUESS???]
Ah, the transformation is entirely mechanical...
[don't fucking ask me this is never explained but boy does yeager know how this works!! you can interrupt him at any point, he will just happily explain exactly how this wonderful weapon of his works otherwise. i'm sorry, he's a nerd.]
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no subject
[THAT'S KIND OF A BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT, BUT SERIOUSLY. YOU ARE A FORCE OF NATURE, HOW DOES SOMEONE JUST FORGET ALIGULA]
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By asking the nobody that's up there [ a grand wave upwards ] if they're mocking him! I'm super unsurprised his experience with love is, like, probably as abysmal as yours is.
[ oh my god aligula you can't just say that??? ]
He said he didn't know if he'd ever been in love—like, how do you not know, it's totally frickin' obvious?—and said he had "special circumstances" because his girlfriend was a sylph who, like, lived on another plane of existence or whatever.
[ |T |T |T |T ]
You shouldn't even date someone if you don't know you're in love with them! It's a total waste of time otherwise! That energy could be used to, liiiiiiike, find your soulmate or something instead! Aren't I right?
no subject
...That raises many questions, but I absolutely agree with you. If you aren't sure you have feelings for them, why bother? That will only come back to bite you in the end.
[Probably in the form of a vengeful ex-girlfriend!!]
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[ aligula you're a cyclops and you're from a world that lies parallel to your earth's own of course you don't find it weird oh my god. ]
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[he's talking to a cyclops. she's probably seen all sorts of weird shit with her one eye. oh my god. why did he even ask.]
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[ ...............are you, though. ]
Distance, like age, totally doesn't matter in love! As long as you doooo love that person, with all your heart and soul and body~ [ you are probably not the person to talk about this consider what you dID TO YOUR BOYFRIEND, but okay. ] Be-siiiiiiides, if you find love here... or if anyone else does... then when we all go home, it'll be the same kinda concept, right? A long-distance relationship for the ages! A long-dimensional relationship!
[ this is a lot of words to say NO SHE DOESN'T. ]
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Well, when we go home we don't remember anything about this place, which complicates things a bit.
[jeez can you imagine how badly that'd suck if you found your One True Love here?? hahahaha wow.]
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Hmmm, I guess sooooooo... Juuust a little. [ just a bit. ] Maybe I'll work on making a way to like, I dunno, supercharge people's memories so they'll never forget anything ever? That sounds fun.
[ actually that sounds like a shitshow waiting to happen but okay. ]
no subject
What an amazing idea! It certainly would be interesting to see!
[DO IT]
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And then you'd never forget to add things to your bucket list. [ oh my god.
anyway timeskip 2 thera, this place is still as dusty and awful as it used to be. atmosphere feels sorta lighter though. thanks otherworlders. you kinda did okay here. it isn't a completely depressing place anymore, it's just sort of depressing.
i mean aligula still hates it, but like. she's just gonna kick some rocks and turn to yeager with a siiiiiigh. ]
This place totally reminds me of home. [ .....UH. ] Where's the best emotion shard thingies? They've gotta be small.
no subject
Sort of depressing is fine, he can totally handle that. It's kind of weirdly nice here, actually? The solitude is comforting in a way. His grip is a bit tighter on his briefcase, though he's not really expecting anything to jump out at them.]
Does it remind you of home? Goodness, I thought you came from a world as lively and vibrant as you!
[...good question about the emotion shards, uh. LET'S. LOOK AROUND while we talk about your home or something...??]
no subject
Welllll, Hellsalem's Lot totally is! But, like, the Beyond? Not... always? [ Hmmmmm~~~ ] Like, this is totally what everything look liked when that big collapse thing happened~ and it's what everything looks like closer to the huma world when you get outta the big tunnel that connects our world with theirs.
[ She's motioning with her hands as she talks, which is probably lost on him considering they're... supposed to... look for stuff??? ]
It's all rubble and flying buildings and fog. [ SO MUCH FOG, YEAGER. i myself was reminded of how fucking foggy it is in the beyond on a recent canon review. ] It's kinda that way until you hit a city or big group of Beyondian stuff too.
Well, [ let her correct herself, ] the fog's always there, but like, it's not all desolate and boooooooring like here.
no subject
[...well, caer bocram is desolate and foggy but it's not boring! umbrella monsters attack you there and you have to use teleporters, it's stupid, don't go there.]
Do you prefer it here? Well, not here obviously, but Verens?
[He can't imagine Aligula getting homesick. That would be so weird??]
no subject
[ ...so she's not homesick because she hasn't considered being homesick. ]
But, like, that's totally like asking me if I like chocolates or flowers better! They're both good gifts, but they're totally incomparable, right? [ yeah sure. ] Obviously I'm gonna have a lot of good points for chocolate, like how it's totally edible and totally the best thing ever, but flowers have good points too! Like smelling nice and looking nice and being totally that kind of gift you have to put a lot of thought into.
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Well, you certainly have a point there! Though I'd imagine you would have at least a slight preference one way or another, at least about the flowers and chocolate!
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The only preference I got is that I'd rather have a ring than either of those things, if you know what I mean. [ ...she means a wedding ring
probably.
..............probably. ]
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The temperature has sharply dropped to the point of icing some of the grass around Yeager before he manages to get some kind of control over himself.
(That was not a shard, by the way. It was a shiny rock. It's not even a pretty shiny rock.)]
Well, I'd imagine it would be! When do you think your boyfriend will propose?
[And just like that everything's back to the normal, apathetic void. It seems stronger than usual, though.]
no subject
...Eventually.
[ That sure is some strong Not Feeling Anything At All, Fuck Yourself Emotions World there, huh. Aligula hops over to him, frowning at the dumb shiny rock, before she moves onto... climbing onto a crumbly wall to kind of survey the area. ]
We've gotta, like, reconnect and stuff first, and then he'll totally propose. [ ... ] Sooooooooo, is there anything in that briefcase other than, like, your emotional baggage?
[ so, real question: why doesn't yeager hang out with anyone who knows what the fuck "tact" is. ]
no subject
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HE COULD TALK ABOUT HIS WEAPON so it's a good thing you're up there and he can transform it with no problems. It goes from a briefcase to six and a half feet of scythe somehow. Don't ask question.]
It's my weapon! It was custom made and can take on six different forms, though obviously the briefcase is just for easy transportation. I never go anywhere without it; it wouldn't do to be caught unawares, ja?
no subject
Ohhh, I get it. It's like, a super extra safety blanket! Like what kids have when they're nervous and anxious and weird about everything.
[ I... I'M SO SORRY?? ]
At least it's totally cool-looking!
no subject
[YOU INTENTIONALLY PLOTTED TO GET HIM KILLED, TRAUMATIZED HIS GRANDSON IN THE PROCESS, NEARLY STARTED A WAR, AND DID ALL OF THIS BECAUSE ???? YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING YOU GET]
It is though, isn't it? I'm very pleased with the design!
[And to demonstrate, he transforms it into the rifle form. Which is six and a half feet of fucking gun. No one needs a gun that big, that's just stupid.]
no subject
Talk about overcompensation! [ she sounds sort of impressed at least?? like, genuinely so. ...it isn't clear if she's impressed at his gun or at overcompensation, but uh, anyway.
in manifests mainly in the form of a faint glow; fairly standard, but it'd probably be brighter on anyone whose emotions weren't shallow as fuck when they actually are a thing. ] What's next, a bug net? A sword? A really big spiral-thingy like on those army knives from Swatcherland or whatever that country's called?
no subject
[He transforms it again, this time into a relatively sane-looking sword. It's not giant, anyway, just large enough that it should probably be used with two hands instead of how casually Yeager's holding it.]
It does have a sword form! And a shield...
[He transforms it to that. It's actually around the size of the briefcase, it's fairly tiny.]
And a crossbow...
[Which is about the size of his forearm, so it's also kinda small??]
And a scythe!
[WHICH IS SIX AND A HALF FEET OF SCYTHE JESUS CHRIST]
It's a very wonderful weapon!
[He's switched between them all very easily and he's carrying that scythe like it weighs nothing but they all have to weigh the same this weapon is so stupid and i hate it.]
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You really are, like, overly prepared. [ better to be over-prepared than not though??? she guesses?????? ] How's it do all of that?
[ how does it. transform. into all of that. ]
no subject
[TO BE ATTACKED BY SOMETHING REQUIRING GIANT WEAPONS I GUESS???]
Ah, the transformation is entirely mechanical...
[don't fucking ask me this is never explained but boy does yeager know how this works!! you can interrupt him at any point, he will just happily explain exactly how this wonderful weapon of his works otherwise. i'm sorry, he's a nerd.]
hi redd i promise i didn't forget you i've just been having a time
it's okay!! i've been hella sick so i feel ya