[It is and it's terrible. I'm sorry you have to experience it here and now, since this isn't exactly a good place for that. But I'm not like everyone else - I've been trying to stamp out any kind of emotional reaction to everything for the past ten years and usually I succeed. It's harder to do here.
I'm sure it's difficult to deal with that right now, especially after what you did. I wish I had some sort of advice for you, but I'm the last person you'd want to take it from! I've spent the past ten years ignoring my feelings and I never gave myself any time to properly mourn anyone. The first time I tried was with Whitehorse and even that was awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. (Yuri was also there, so that might be why.)
I don't know if you'll find any way to deal with any of this. You might not. But I think it's okay if you can't figure out what you want to do. Kevin died this week and even though that's become normal here, it certainly wouldn't be otherwise. Mourning is a process, it takes time to sort through everything, even for perfectly normal people.]
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I'm sure it's difficult to deal with that right now, especially after what you did. I wish I had some sort of advice for you, but I'm the last person you'd want to take it from! I've spent the past ten years ignoring my feelings and I never gave myself any time to properly mourn anyone. The first time I tried was with Whitehorse and even that was awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. (Yuri was also there, so that might be why.)
I don't know if you'll find any way to deal with any of this. You might not. But I think it's okay if you can't figure out what you want to do. Kevin died this week and even though that's become normal here, it certainly wouldn't be otherwise. Mourning is a process, it takes time to sort through everything, even for perfectly normal people.]